Tag: pain

Last week, I had the luxury of spending seven days doing nothing but sitting in a chair and looking at the Pacific Ocean. My friend and I traveled to Rosarito, Mexico and made the executive decision to do as little as possible on our vacation.

Truth be told, I didn’t exactly do “nothing.” I finished reading one book and started another. We also walked to the local restaurant twice a day to eat. But other than that, the days were spent gazing out of the water sweeping into shore and concentrating on the vast blue of the open sky. It was heavenly. I did not feel at all guilty. In fact, I reveled in the luxury of having so much time to relax and take care of myself.

We started talking about disease (my friend is a doctor) and how much of disease originates in unprocessed and irrational feelings of guilt. I told her about some aches and pains I’d been having. I called them “moveable pain,” sometimes in my shoulder, sometimes in my rib, other times on the left side and then on the right. She suggested I explore what suppressed guilt might be at work in creating this pain.

As I settled into my meditation, I was surprised to find an old familiar memory immediately surfacing, one that involved a trauma I experienced as a pre-schooler with my father. He was screaming at me that, had it not been for me, he could have lived a happy life.

My father’s treatment of me as a child obviously shaped my worldview. The guilt that I was responsible for my father’s unhappiness carried over into all my relationships. It inspired co-dependency, drug addiction, self-sabotage, and unhappiness. My father wanted to make me feel I had done something wrong in order to make himself feel better about his unhappy life.

Through the years, by coming to know myself and using Conflict REVOLUTION to learn self-care, I’ve beaten the addictions, cultivated healthy relationships, and found my happiness. I know today that I was not guilty of anything back then and I’ve learned how to care for that inner child. So I was surprised to see this memory resurface. Was I still affected by this incident? Even in all my healing, was it buried so deep that instead of facing it consciously it had to manifest as my “moveable pain?”

As soon as I asked myself those questions, the scene from childhood jumped to the present and all the chaos of the current political situation here in the US. Lately I made the decision not to get swept away in this chaos, but I often find myself thinking that I have to “do more” otherwise I will be “part of the problem.”

I was surprised to think that those two images might be related—my father’s hurtful behavior and the current politic climate. And yet, what I see emerging in our culture today are people demonstrating the same lack of compassion and kindness that my father displayed. More war, more violence, more school shootings, more bullying. It’s as if society is being controlled by people as sick and lost as my father was when I was a kid.

It suddenly made sense to me that my well-meaning thoughts of wanting to make a positive contribution to change this culture would get tied up in that old guilt. And yet, I’ve come so far! I would not have thought I was still subject to its unseen influence. But, if it had not been buried, it would not have had to manifest as physical pain.

We decided to once again turn to Einstein for some insights about this embedded guilt. He explained how our modern culture is built on guilt, thereby making it nearly impossible to escape. But he also assured us that with mindfulness, compassion, and self-care, we can make new decisions grounded in self-love, for the good of all.

After a week at the beach, staring at the ocean, feeling and breathing my guilt, and reprogramming my thoughts, my pain is gone. Change may not always happen that quickly, and the pain may not be gone for good, but I am excited about moving forward being mindful of my decisions, feeling and breathing, and continuing to replace the voices of culture with those of love and compassion.

Barbara

Below are notes from our session:

February 19, 2018
We command that only the most divine light shine down upon you at this time and the greatest good be present here.

It’s always a pleasure and an honor to welcome you to the circle. To begin with, we want to speak about what is going on in the world on February 19, 2018 in an energetic sense.

You as a human in 2018 are experiencing the powerful unification of humanity. Humanity is one body. There is no separation at the Source. That is the truth of your oneness. You are here to create unity within yourself, to the best of your ability, by waking up to the truth of your oneness.

The ultimate unification is when all the billions of people currently on the planet wake up to the truth of their collective oneness.

Overload

Right now your physical bodies are being overloaded by too much information. The truth of your oneness is too much information for your human mind to process. But in that challenge comes the growth and expansion you need. Being challenged to take in more and more information deepens your capacity to adapt to the truth of your oneness. Humanity is just now beginning to understand this level of reality, to understand how energy works, how physical matter is manifest through the perception of the human, and the importance of the intention of that human upon the organization of the physical world.

You are the leaders of change, choosing to instigate it first in yourself to then affect culture. This is the ultimate challenge right now. For those of you who have volunteered and were chosen to come here at this time to be the agents of change, you are working to free yourself from the separation that you feel as your mind is concentrating so purposefully in the Lens to create the seamless experience of a separate physical reality.

The evolution of human consciousness right now is in an extremely chaotic place, by design. It’s not a mistake. It’s not that the systems are failing. It’s that in order for you to achieve this oneness, you have to have transparency. And transparency brings with it a great deal of information that has to be processed.

Let’s talk about you as an individual alone: here you sit, you have your physical body, your thoughts, feelings, senses, memories, perceptions. You go to sleep, you wake up, you have days and nights: you are living this life. That is the Lens on the map. Even though your human mind is having this life in the Lens, there is a huge operating system that is invisible to your human mind that is allowing you to have these experiences.

As a human, you are slowly but surely removing the blocks from your human mind so you can take in all the rest of this information—and it’s so much information. So much so that people burn out and die because they don’t have the physical strength to process that much energy. It’s like getting electrocuted, so much energy surging into your body that it blows the circuits. That’s what’s happening right now.

People should be actively, consciously seeking to understand what’s going on in their own energy field and working to take these steps, one step at a time, to ensure that they don’t burn out in this expansion. Self-care is a valuable tool during chaotic times.

Don’t measure your progress by what you see going on in the Lens of your culture right now. If you did that, you would think you were making no progress at all. Don’t dismiss the events of your world, but put them in perspective with a much bigger picture.

Think about the people in your immediate world and about how many you feel you could have this conversation with. That should clearly illustrate what you’re up against in culture right now. You’re like salmon swimming upstream, pushing against the flow of people who are panicking, who don’t understand, who are projecting their judgments and defining their world against this 2018 culture. You’re doing it, too, whether you know it or not. It’s just a natural reaction of your human mind in 2018. But it’s not the whole truth.

This time when the veils are lifting is a very tumultuous and disruptive time. It was never going to be easy. But this is what is needed in order for human consciousness to expand past its limited capacity. By nature, human beings on their own will not push themselves to produce this kind of change. Disruption and conflict are needed to break down those walls and to build up the experiences one step at a time of what this big operating system really is. That’s why your physical body and your mental and emotional health need to go slowly, one step at a time. You don’t want the whole power plant surging into your wall socket.

Riding the Wave

Know that your human intellect is held prisoner in that culture of the Lens. Your job is to find a way out of that prison—not an easy task. It’s not just bliss and joy. Those things are there. But it’s the entire spectrum of human emotions that is being called to be integrated into what we would call power.

So yes, enjoy those times of bliss. Enjoy those times of joy. But know where you are on the journey. Know that the way will rise and fall. Know that you will reach a plateau and then you’ll drop again and then you’ll come up a little higher and then you’ll drop again and you’ll come up a little higher.

That’s why you should not think you are backpedaling when you re-experience some trauma from your past. It’s that your human psyche and your human operating system are so vast and so complex that there’s always going to be more emotions coming up, whether it’s emotions from this life or from the many layers of other lives that are also spinning on your string.

Let’s say you reincarnate into 2150 AD at a time after human consciousness has made the evolutionary step and culture is now based on compassion, unity and sustainability.

Even though that’s not where culture is right now in 2018, concentrate on creating within you the energy of that person in 2150. Simulate as much as you can what that person might be like, how they might think, feel and sense being brought up in the culture that teaches children how to take care of themselves and the world, for the good of all. Imagine the voice of that culture in your intellect supporting and self-loving, free of judgment, attachments and able to live in the truth of the oneness.

By bringing this person into your imagination, you’re using the future to help push the change along. But you’re also creating a conflict with the voices of culture in 2018 that often tell you that you are not worthy of such things. You get hopeless, as war and fighting rage on around you. Now you can feel even more out of time, more misunderstood and more hopeless.

Guilt

Guilt is a thought process married to an emotional state that then drives the decision-making process. Guilt messages you on a primordial level what is expected of you within your culture and involves making you feel as if you have done something wrong in order to induce you to do something to meet that cultural expectation.

Guilt is a wholly culture-generated perception based on the expectation that you must perform in a way that culture wants. If you had been born 3000 years ago in the southwest of the U.S., which was an indigenous Anasazi migratory route, your voices of culture would have been tuned much more to the earth.

There were always personal voices of culture within family units, but the community culture was magical, sustainable and based on taking care of everyone within the community, including Earth herself. Earth was Mother, the garden that provided everything they needed to survive and thrive with families in a community. The voices of culture drove them to respect and care for the Earth so that the next seven generations would also have an Earth to survive and thrive on.

The culture of 2018 for the most part is far removed from this. Today’s voices of culture have guilt permeating them: in order to have value, you must do something, you must perform, you must achieve, you must accomplish, you must be doing something all the time. It has nothing to do with what the earth wants you to do.

Back in the Anasazi culture, your worth was not based on achievement and performance. Worth was about living in accordance to the laws of nature and taking care of each other. You were born to live in harmony among the plants and animals of the earth. You were born worthy.

2018 is the polar opposite. You are so driven to do these performances that you aren’t even aware of what drives you to do them. Guilt is an inescapable position. Not because you haven’t done enough or learned enough or that you need to do more. It’s that your current culture is driven by it. Your current culture for the most part has lost touch with the earth, lost heart, and consequently is destroying itself. For without the earth, you have no home.

So what is one to do in the face of such potential imprisonment? Is there really no escape from these voices?

Become the Change

Your mission is to not wait for the voices of culture around you to change, but to change yourself from within. This means that very carefully and meticulously, through every single experience you have, you mindfully come to understand what your relationship is to this guilt and how it manifests in your life. This inquiry will then allow evolution to work through you, showing you creative solutions to change those inner voices of culture into ones that love, respect and sustain the infrastructure of your energy.

It’s not like there’s a manual that you can follow that everyone else followed the last time they went through this change, because there was no last time.  And chaos is a natural part of this change.

What do you do? It will help you to understand that there’s not a deficit happening in you because you feel guilt. On becoming aware that you feel guilt, you can decide to make a change in your life, and let that change lead you forward. You become a creature of evolution by holding the truth—that you have guilt—and asking Intuition how to guide you through this process of changing from within.

We can tell you ad infinitum, so much of this is about releasing emotion. In 2018 every human is suddenly aware of the incredible spectrum of emotion that is possible to feel. People are becoming transparent to themselves, and most people don’t know what to do with all that deep feeling. You have a natural tendency to suppress emotions or project them onto others. There must be a change in individuals and how they relate to, define, and process their own emotion. The need to know how to do this and put it into practice will never end. It’s part of the operating system.

If you are making decisions out of guilt and what you think the world wants of you, it means you’re still not being transparent with yourself. Open up and examine your guilt. Observe it as the witness to your life. See what it’s doing and constantly let intuition in to tell you how to change it.

The observation of what that guilt is will help you now to transform it, one step at a time. As you observe yourself, you can exist in a state where you can feel Intuition driving you to do something, and at the same time, you can hear the voices of culture telling you why you shouldn’t and why you can’t. These voices exist side by side. It’s not necessarily that you have to do away with these voices of guilt before you can make a change. It’s that you train yourself to use Intellect to make a decision based on what Intuition is telling you. You make a conscious choice to not act on the voices of guilt, which are of ego, but to act on the voices of Intuition, which are of Compassion.

Everyone experiences this. The voices in your head say you should do that, but your Intuition is saying, “Do this.” When you act on Intuition, you reach a place that is best for the entire system, not just best for what ego wants from moment to moment. We can tell you that almost every time you follow voices of guilt, you won’t get to that place that is best for you. You’ll get somewhere, but it won’t be that place that’s aligned to your Intuition and working for the good of the whole. And you can live there. You are capable of living a life that is dominated by the voices of culture and guilt and driven by them to the end of your life. But you risk living in constant conflict, illness, being unfulfilled and creating more separation from yourself by doing so.

You’ve come here to do something different. Every time you break away from the voices of culture and guilt and let Intuition influence you to make that decision that comes from compassion, you tick down those voices of culture just a bit. Ultimately, we would like to erase the voices of guilt.

In the 2150 operating system, your Intellect is as broad and open as the blue sky and that’s how you face the world every day. In that state, with your mind wide open and blue as that beautiful sky, there’s plenty of room to hear the impelling of Intuition telling you to take the next most advantageous step in whatever the situation is. That’s what you’re working for: a condition in your energy that looks like that: a big, open mind listening for the impelling of Intuition and then making a conscious decision to take that step.

Every single situation you find yourself in gives you a platform to practice this. Every conflict gives you the opportunity to look at what’s going on on a deeper level, find it, change it, and take a step forward to become aware of and living with the oneness of the entire operating system.

Do some meditation exercises where you pull in that person who lives in 2150 who already has a beautiful, open intellect, or go back 3,000 years and pull in that life, where every night you sat out under an incredible huge sky in prayer and you lived within the context of the natural world. Let those two strings of energy that are flowing through you now also come to life within you in 2018.

You can do this by either throwing yourself into culture, or by removing yourself from it. It doesn’t matter. Of course, it’s always a little bit easier when you’re not bombarded with people telling you things all the time to your face. But that can be an empowering platform, too: to observe what’s going on with you, then to let the trigger come up, then release more emotion, and then adjust your actions. It’s like training for a sport, say, soccer; you can practice by yourself, but you learn a lot when you get into the game and play against someone.

We think that 2018 is going to be a surprise year for those of you doing this work. As the world gets more insane, you will want to get more centered. You don’t want to get dragged along on the cultural expectation that all is lost and get lost in all the negative definitions of what’s going on. You don’t want to get swept away with the panic and the judgment and fear that swirling around in culture. You want to use all that chaos to remind yourself even more that now is the time to strengthen your resolve, to expand your own awareness of what’s going on, to pull in this bigger truth during the times when you’re experiencing guilt and when culture is telling you you’re wrong.

We feel it’s important to be connected to what’s going on in the world. But be aware there’s an addiction happening right now: you feel like you have to know what’s going on in the world. And that’s OK—but you don’t. You need to know what’s going on inside you. You need to be in touch with your energy. You need to be cultivating your witness and to make decisions based on what is best for the good of the whole operating system.

We urge you to experiment with all kinds of different ways that you can do that. If you need to cut yourself off from culture for a while, do that. If you need to throw yourself in and become involved in something that really means something to you, do that. Every single person, every single activity, every single path you take is giving you a platform to help the entire human species evolve. That is your job right now. That is your mission right now.

You’ve come here to do this impossible tasks of finding your oneness, of integrating your many lives, of finding your own power, to let emotion flow, to change your thinking process all while facing this increasingly chaotic world.

Don’t let the chaos of the world be an indication of your worth. It is an indication of the change, but not of your worth. Align the thought process of worth and value to the bigger picture. Look at what your current culture is doing to you. This is no easy task. It’s not an easy time to be alive. But it is a worthwhile time to be here, because you can make such a change.

Examine your guilt and the deep emotions around it in a new way, with a new relationship to it. Step by step, with mindfulness of your own energy and oneness, let yourself clear away the voices of culture that say, “You should, you have to.” Let those voices fade away as you open up that big sky that is your mind. Cement that witness to be mindful of who you are and what you’re doing. Breathe. Constantly be breathing emotion. The less you intellectualize your feelings, the more you can move them and release them from their abscess. Then listen closely for Intuition and then act on it. That, in 2018, will reward you with some new direction, and consequently some new manifestations.

Always come back to the fact that it’s a miracle that you are here at all in your physical body, that you have found people of like mind to help support you and feed back to you as you go through these enormous and impossible consciousness-expanding steps in your life. Go one step at a time. Don’t be discouraged. Know that, one step at a time, everything that you’re doing is assisting in the evolution of human consciousness in a big way.

We’re studying what is happening with you, always. In this Party, there are always souls coming and going, adding, observing, supporting. In fact, the Party has gotten quite big, and you are very, very much appreciated and loved by all of us. Thank you for your participation.

We’ll close the channel by reiterating that the world is in a place of great, great transformation. Try not to be fooled into aligning your thinking to what culture says. Open your mind to that large, beautiful sky. Let emotion be the primordial soup of creation, the tapping of your power. Embrace it all. Breathe it all. See it moving on the big string that is you. Listen for that beautiful voice within you. And then, of course, watch and be amazed.

Namaste.