Last week, I had the luxury of spending seven days doing nothing but sitting in a chair and looking at the Pacific Ocean. My friend and I traveled to Rosarito, Mexico and made the executive decision to do as little as possible on our vacation.
Truth be told, I didn’t exactly do “nothing.” I finished reading one book and started another. We also walked to the local restaurant twice a day to eat. But other than that, the days were spent gazing out of the water sweeping into shore and concentrating on the vast blue of the open sky. It was heavenly. I did not feel at all guilty. In fact, I reveled in the luxury of having so much time to relax and take care of myself.
We started talking about disease (my friend is a doctor) and how much of disease originates in unprocessed and irrational feelings of guilt. I told her about some aches and pains I’d been having. I called them “moveable pain,” sometimes in my shoulder, sometimes in my rib, other times on the left side and then on the right. She suggested I explore what suppressed guilt might be at work in creating this pain.
As I settled into my meditation, I was surprised to find an old familiar memory immediately surfacing, one that involved a trauma I experienced as a pre-schooler with my father. He was screaming at me that, had it not been for me, he could have lived a happy life.
My father’s treatment of me as a child obviously shaped my worldview. The guilt that I was responsible for my father’s unhappiness carried over into all my relationships. It inspired co-dependency, drug addiction, self-sabotage, and unhappiness. My father wanted to make me feel I had done something wrong in order to make himself feel better about his unhappy life.
Through the years, by coming to know myself and using Conflict REVOLUTION to learn self-care, I’ve beaten the addictions, cultivated healthy relationships, and found my happiness. I know today that I was not guilty of anything back then and I’ve learned how to care for that inner child. So I was surprised to see this memory resurface. Was I still affected by this incident? Even in all my healing, was it buried so deep that instead of facing it consciously it had to manifest as my “moveable pain?”
As soon as I asked myself those questions, the scene from childhood jumped to the present and all the chaos of the current political situation here in the US. Lately I made the decision not to get swept away in this chaos, but I often find myself thinking that I have to “do more” otherwise I will be “part of the problem.”
I was surprised to think that those two images might be related—my father’s hurtful behavior and the current politic climate. And yet, what I see emerging in our culture today are people demonstrating the same lack of compassion and kindness that my father displayed. More war, more violence, more school shootings, more bullying. It’s as if society is being controlled by people as sick and lost as my father was when I was a kid.
It suddenly made sense to me that my well-meaning thoughts of wanting to make a positive contribution to change this culture would get tied up in that old guilt. And yet, I’ve come so far! I would not have thought I was still subject to its unseen influence. But, if it had not been buried, it would not have had to manifest as physical pain.
We decided to once again turn to Einstein for some insights about this embedded guilt. He explained how our modern culture is built on guilt, thereby making it nearly impossible to escape. But he also assured us that with mindfulness, compassion, and self-care, we can make new decisions grounded in self-love, for the good of all.
After a week at the beach, staring at the ocean, feeling and breathing my guilt, and reprogramming my thoughts, my pain is gone. Change may not always happen that quickly, and the pain may not be gone for good, but I am excited about moving forward being mindful of my decisions, feeling and breathing, and continuing to replace the voices of culture with those of love and compassion.
Below are notes from our session:
February 19, 2018
We command that only the most divine light shine down upon you at this time and the greatest good be present here.
It’s always a pleasure and an honor to welcome you to the circle. To begin with, we want to speak about what is going on in the world on February 19, 2018 in an energetic sense.
You as a human in 2018 are experiencing the powerful unification of humanity. Humanity is one body. There is no separation at the Source. That is the truth of your oneness. You are here to create unity within yourself, to the best of your ability, by waking up to the truth of your oneness.
The ultimate unification is when all the billions of people currently on the planet wake up to the truth of their collective oneness.
Right now your physical bodies are being overloaded by too much information. The truth of your oneness is too much information for your human mind to process. But in that challenge comes the growth and expansion you need. Being challenged to take in more and more information deepens your capacity to adapt to the truth of your oneness. Humanity is just now beginning to understand this level of reality, to understand how energy works, how physical matter is manifest through the perception of the human, and the importance of the intention of that human upon the organization of the physical world.
You are the leaders of change, choosing to instigate it first in yourself to then affect culture. This is the ultimate challenge right now. For those of you who have volunteered and were chosen to come here at this time to be the agents of change, you are working to free yourself from the separation that you feel as your mind is concentrating so purposefully in the Lens to create the seamless experience of a separate physical reality.
The evolution of human consciousness right now is in an extremely chaotic place, by design. It’s not a mistake. It’s not that the systems are failing. It’s that in order for you to achieve this oneness, you have to have transparency. And transparency brings with it a great deal of information that has to be processed.
Let’s talk about you as an individual alone: here you sit, you have your physical body, your thoughts, feelings, senses, memories, perceptions. You go to sleep, you wake up, you have days and nights: you are living this life. That is the Lens on the map. Even though your human mind is having this life in the Lens, there is a huge operating system that is invisible to your human mind that is allowing you to have these experiences.
As a human, you are slowly but surely removing the blocks from your human mind so you can take in all the rest of this information—and it’s so much information. So much so that people burn out and die because they don’t have the physical strength to process that much energy. It’s like getting electrocuted, so much energy surging into your body that it blows the circuits. That’s what’s happening right now.
People should be actively, consciously seeking to understand what’s going on in their own energy field and working to take these steps, one step at a time, to ensure that they don’t burn out in this expansion. Self-care is a valuable tool during chaotic times.
Don’t measure your progress by what you see going on in the Lens of your culture right now. If you did that, you would think you were making no progress at all. Don’t dismiss the events of your world, but put them in perspective with a much bigger picture.
Think about the people in your immediate world and about how many you feel you could have this conversation with. That should clearly illustrate what you’re up against in culture right now. You’re like salmon swimming upstream, pushing against the flow of people who are panicking, who don’t understand, who are projecting their judgments and defining their world against this 2018 culture. You’re doing it, too, whether you know it or not. It’s just a natural reaction of your human mind in 2018. But it’s not the whole truth.
This time when the veils are lifting is a very tumultuous and disruptive time. It was never going to be easy. But this is what is needed in order for human consciousness to expand past its limited capacity. By nature, human beings on their own will not push themselves to produce this kind of change. Disruption and conflict are needed to break down those walls and to build up the experiences one step at a time of what this big operating system really is. That’s why your physical body and your mental and emotional health need to go slowly, one step at a time. You don’t want the whole power plant surging into your wall socket.
Riding the Wave
Know that your human intellect is held prisoner in that culture of the Lens. Your job is to find a way out of that prison—not an easy task. It’s not just bliss and joy. Those things are there. But it’s the entire spectrum of human emotions that is being called to be integrated into what we would call power.
So yes, enjoy those times of bliss. Enjoy those times of joy. But know where you are on the journey. Know that the way will rise and fall. Know that you will reach a plateau and then you’ll drop again and then you’ll come up a little higher and then you’ll drop again and you’ll come up a little higher.
That’s why you should not think you are backpedaling when you re-experience some trauma from your past. It’s that your human psyche and your human operating system are so vast and so complex that there’s always going to be more emotions coming up, whether it’s emotions from this life or from the many layers of other lives that are also spinning on your string.
Let’s say you reincarnate into 2150 AD at a time after human consciousness has made the evolutionary step and culture is now based on compassion, unity and sustainability.
Even though that’s not where culture is right now in 2018, concentrate on creating within you the energy of that person in 2150. Simulate as much as you can what that person might be like, how they might think, feel and sense being brought up in the culture that teaches children how to take care of themselves and the world, for the good of all. Imagine the voice of that culture in your intellect supporting and self-loving, free of judgment, attachments and able to live in the truth of the oneness.
By bringing this person into your imagination, you’re using the future to help push the change along. But you’re also creating a conflict with the voices of culture in 2018 that often tell you that you are not worthy of such things. You get hopeless, as war and fighting rage on around you. Now you can feel even more out of time, more misunderstood and more hopeless.
Guilt is a thought process married to an emotional state that then drives the decision-making process. Guilt messages you on a primordial level what is expected of you within your culture and involves making you feel as if you have done something wrong in order to induce you to do something to meet that cultural expectation.
Guilt is a wholly culture-generated perception based on the expectation that you must perform in a way that culture wants. If you had been born 3000 years ago in the southwest of the U.S., which was an indigenous Anasazi migratory route, your voices of culture would have been tuned much more to the earth.
There were always personal voices of culture within family units, but the community culture was magical, sustainable and based on taking care of everyone within the community, including Earth herself. Earth was Mother, the garden that provided everything they needed to survive and thrive with families in a community. The voices of culture drove them to respect and care for the Earth so that the next seven generations would also have an Earth to survive and thrive on.
The culture of 2018 for the most part is far removed from this. Today’s voices of culture have guilt permeating them: in order to have value, you must do something, you must perform, you must achieve, you must accomplish, you must be doing something all the time. It has nothing to do with what the earth wants you to do.
Back in the Anasazi culture, your worth was not based on achievement and performance. Worth was about living in accordance to the laws of nature and taking care of each other. You were born to live in harmony among the plants and animals of the earth. You were born worthy.
2018 is the polar opposite. You are so driven to do these performances that you aren’t even aware of what drives you to do them. Guilt is an inescapable position. Not because you haven’t done enough or learned enough or that you need to do more. It’s that your current culture is driven by it. Your current culture for the most part has lost touch with the earth, lost heart, and consequently is destroying itself. For without the earth, you have no home.
So what is one to do in the face of such potential imprisonment? Is there really no escape from these voices?
Become the Change
Your mission is to not wait for the voices of culture around you to change, but to change yourself from within. This means that very carefully and meticulously, through every single experience you have, you mindfully come to understand what your relationship is to this guilt and how it manifests in your life. This inquiry will then allow evolution to work through you, showing you creative solutions to change those inner voices of culture into ones that love, respect and sustain the infrastructure of your energy.
It’s not like there’s a manual that you can follow that everyone else followed the last time they went through this change, because there was no last time. And chaos is a natural part of this change.
What do you do? It will help you to understand that there’s not a deficit happening in you because you feel guilt. On becoming aware that you feel guilt, you can decide to make a change in your life, and let that change lead you forward. You become a creature of evolution by holding the truth—that you have guilt—and asking Intuition how to guide you through this process of changing from within.
We can tell you ad infinitum, so much of this is about releasing emotion. In 2018 every human is suddenly aware of the incredible spectrum of emotion that is possible to feel. People are becoming transparent to themselves, and most people don’t know what to do with all that deep feeling. You have a natural tendency to suppress emotions or project them onto others. There must be a change in individuals and how they relate to, define, and process their own emotion. The need to know how to do this and put it into practice will never end. It’s part of the operating system.
If you are making decisions out of guilt and what you think the world wants of you, it means you’re still not being transparent with yourself. Open up and examine your guilt. Observe it as the witness to your life. See what it’s doing and constantly let intuition in to tell you how to change it.
The observation of what that guilt is will help you now to transform it, one step at a time. As you observe yourself, you can exist in a state where you can feel Intuition driving you to do something, and at the same time, you can hear the voices of culture telling you why you shouldn’t and why you can’t. These voices exist side by side. It’s not necessarily that you have to do away with these voices of guilt before you can make a change. It’s that you train yourself to use Intellect to make a decision based on what Intuition is telling you. You make a conscious choice to not act on the voices of guilt, which are of ego, but to act on the voices of Intuition, which are of Compassion.
Everyone experiences this. The voices in your head say you should do that, but your Intuition is saying, “Do this.” When you act on Intuition, you reach a place that is best for the entire system, not just best for what ego wants from moment to moment. We can tell you that almost every time you follow voices of guilt, you won’t get to that place that is best for you. You’ll get somewhere, but it won’t be that place that’s aligned to your Intuition and working for the good of the whole. And you can live there. You are capable of living a life that is dominated by the voices of culture and guilt and driven by them to the end of your life. But you risk living in constant conflict, illness, being unfulfilled and creating more separation from yourself by doing so.
You’ve come here to do something different. Every time you break away from the voices of culture and guilt and let Intuition influence you to make that decision that comes from compassion, you tick down those voices of culture just a bit. Ultimately, we would like to erase the voices of guilt.
In the 2150 operating system, your Intellect is as broad and open as the blue sky and that’s how you face the world every day. In that state, with your mind wide open and blue as that beautiful sky, there’s plenty of room to hear the impelling of Intuition telling you to take the next most advantageous step in whatever the situation is. That’s what you’re working for: a condition in your energy that looks like that: a big, open mind listening for the impelling of Intuition and then making a conscious decision to take that step.
Every single situation you find yourself in gives you a platform to practice this. Every conflict gives you the opportunity to look at what’s going on on a deeper level, find it, change it, and take a step forward to become aware of and living with the oneness of the entire operating system.
Do some meditation exercises where you pull in that person who lives in 2150 who already has a beautiful, open intellect, or go back 3,000 years and pull in that life, where every night you sat out under an incredible huge sky in prayer and you lived within the context of the natural world. Let those two strings of energy that are flowing through you now also come to life within you in 2018.
You can do this by either throwing yourself into culture, or by removing yourself from it. It doesn’t matter. Of course, it’s always a little bit easier when you’re not bombarded with people telling you things all the time to your face. But that can be an empowering platform, too: to observe what’s going on with you, then to let the trigger come up, then release more emotion, and then adjust your actions. It’s like training for a sport, say, soccer; you can practice by yourself, but you learn a lot when you get into the game and play against someone.
We think that 2018 is going to be a surprise year for those of you doing this work. As the world gets more insane, you will want to get more centered. You don’t want to get dragged along on the cultural expectation that all is lost and get lost in all the negative definitions of what’s going on. You don’t want to get swept away with the panic and the judgment and fear that swirling around in culture. You want to use all that chaos to remind yourself even more that now is the time to strengthen your resolve, to expand your own awareness of what’s going on, to pull in this bigger truth during the times when you’re experiencing guilt and when culture is telling you you’re wrong.
We feel it’s important to be connected to what’s going on in the world. But be aware there’s an addiction happening right now: you feel like you have to know what’s going on in the world. And that’s OK—but you don’t. You need to know what’s going on inside you. You need to be in touch with your energy. You need to be cultivating your witness and to make decisions based on what is best for the good of the whole operating system.
We urge you to experiment with all kinds of different ways that you can do that. If you need to cut yourself off from culture for a while, do that. If you need to throw yourself in and become involved in something that really means something to you, do that. Every single person, every single activity, every single path you take is giving you a platform to help the entire human species evolve. That is your job right now. That is your mission right now.
You’ve come here to do this impossible tasks of finding your oneness, of integrating your many lives, of finding your own power, to let emotion flow, to change your thinking process all while facing this increasingly chaotic world.
Don’t let the chaos of the world be an indication of your worth. It is an indication of the change, but not of your worth. Align the thought process of worth and value to the bigger picture. Look at what your current culture is doing to you. This is no easy task. It’s not an easy time to be alive. But it is a worthwhile time to be here, because you can make such a change.
Examine your guilt and the deep emotions around it in a new way, with a new relationship to it. Step by step, with mindfulness of your own energy and oneness, let yourself clear away the voices of culture that say, “You should, you have to.” Let those voices fade away as you open up that big sky that is your mind. Cement that witness to be mindful of who you are and what you’re doing. Breathe. Constantly be breathing emotion. The less you intellectualize your feelings, the more you can move them and release them from their abscess. Then listen closely for Intuition and then act on it. That, in 2018, will reward you with some new direction, and consequently some new manifestations.
Always come back to the fact that it’s a miracle that you are here at all in your physical body, that you have found people of like mind to help support you and feed back to you as you go through these enormous and impossible consciousness-expanding steps in your life. Go one step at a time. Don’t be discouraged. Know that, one step at a time, everything that you’re doing is assisting in the evolution of human consciousness in a big way.
We’re studying what is happening with you, always. In this Party, there are always souls coming and going, adding, observing, supporting. In fact, the Party has gotten quite big, and you are very, very much appreciated and loved by all of us. Thank you for your participation.
We’ll close the channel by reiterating that the world is in a place of great, great transformation. Try not to be fooled into aligning your thinking to what culture says. Open your mind to that large, beautiful sky. Let emotion be the primordial soup of creation, the tapping of your power. Embrace it all. Breathe it all. See it moving on the big string that is you. Listen for that beautiful voice within you. And then, of course, watch and be amazed.
0:00:00.0 Barbara: Good morning, good afternoon to everyone! It is Sunday, January 28, 2018. We are here with Einstein and the Party of 12, and it’s 2018! Happy New Year! It’s our first reading of the year. As I was telling Cathy Kline and Robin Cordova, who are here with me, when we were chatting earlier, I traditionally have had no idea what the theme of a series will be. This one—“A Year of Redefinition, Regeneration, and Reinvention”—sounds like a whole bunch of fun to me. As always, it will be sequential, in several parts. However many there are, this is our banner for the year. I’m so excited that you are here, Cathy and Robin, and everyone else around the world who is daring to attempt to experiment with Einstein’s theories. You are greatly welcomed to our group of “regenerators.”
I want to start out by saying that 2018 is the 25th anniversary of Diaries of a Psychic Sorority: Talking With the Angels. The Psychic Sorority of the threesome Teresa McMillan and Kimberly Lilith Phelps and me was a conglomeration of the three of us coming together at particular times in our lives to start a group channeling. It was a monumental time without which we would not be here today.
I’m very excited about 2018 because I fully intend that we are going to re-release Diaries, and it’s my hope that we’ll have at least one new chapter updating. I’m so honored 25 years later to still have these friends and that we tested the Conflict REVOLUTION process. Out of the three of us came Conflict REVOLUTION. Without the three of us, it would not have been able to be tested and put into use in a practical platform.
In honor of the 25th anniversary and to every Conflict REVOLUTIONary out there who has dared to look this deeply into themselves and take this much responsibility for their energy, I want to welcome all of you. Whether you’ve called it Conflict REVOLUTION, whether you just know that you’re aligned to Einstein, for whatever reason you’ve been brought to this place, I want you to know how welcome you are, even if we never hear from you, if we never know who you are. It doesn’t matter. What matters right now is the mass action by people worldwide to ignite the compassion within themselves individually, one person at a time.
I want to start out redefinition, regeneration, and reinvention with the idea of change and how there is a cycle to change. Those of us who are all about change, who aren’t afraid of change, who understand change and try to ride the wave of change, sometimes we think, “Oh, yay! Change!” But most people resist change. The average human psyche has a kind of brake that gets put on when it comes to change. Perhaps it’s the fear of the unknown.
But I learned a couple therapists back about something that was called the Stages of Change. The models for this come from James Prochaska of the University of Rhode Island and Carlo Di Clemente, who developed the transtheoretical model of change in 1977. There are apparently five stages that we go through when we change.
The first is the pre-contemplation. In that stage, we have no intention of changing in the near future. When we get into the pre-contemplation place, we don’t even know we need to change, we’re unaware. For example, I went through some situations with some people of color lately wherein I was able to see what I would call my racist behavior, my intergenerational, preprogrammed racism. I didn’t even know I needed to change. So there’s a pre-contemplation phase we go through.
That moves into the second phase, which is where we start to think about it, to contemplate and to intend that we’re going to change. There’s a weighing of pros and cons of change during this time. What are the good things about having to make that change that’s so hard that people resist?
After that comes the preparedness phase, where you’re getting ready to change. You’re taking little steps that can help the behavior become part of your life.
That leads to the fourth stage, which is the action, where we’ve changed our behavior over the course of a period of time.
Then there’s maintaining that change.
I’m sure my therapist gave me this as a way to understand somebody else I was dealing with, but of course, you know the funny thing about that!
The reason I bring this up here is because if we’re going back to what Einstein has asked me to present this year about redefinition, regeneration, and reinvention, I think there will be phases of each part of these that have this cycle of change, where we’re not even aware we need to change. This also came out of a conversation Robin and I had a few days ago about how when we get into depressive places or feel incapacitated, overwhelmed, so much conflict, being driven, all the stress, that that’s the way our bodies and our bigger selves are showing our human minds that change is needed.
The conflict tries to break the pre-contemplative phase, where you don’t know you have to change. The conflict brings that awareness to the surface. How can we not embrace it and be thankful because it’s making us better, instead of keeping that emotion stuffed inside ourselves thinking that we don’t need to change? The conflict allows us to open that up and feel and breathe it.
In honor of the 25th anniversary of the Psychic Sorority, we blew ourselves up, as we call it! Being the queens of conflict, and then the REVOLUTION of conflict, literally the ones who wrote the book, I am—I wouldn’t say “pleased,” but it’s ironically appropriate, let’s say, that by December 2018, when we re-release this book on the anniversary of our first group, when we got together, I have no doubt in my mind that we will have used our tools appropriately and create something greater than we could have done [without the conflict]. Because apparently we needed to change, too, and we weren’t aware. So I’m embracing it all.
I’ll post a link to that model so you can see it in more detail. The important part is to understand where you are in that cycle of change. When we can understand that, ok, we’re on our way somewhere and we don’t quite know how we’ll make all those bridges or where the roads are going, but we just believe we’re going there—when we’re in that phase—it’s illuminating to take a look and ask ourselves, what part of the cycle of change are we’re in in this moment?
There are times we don’t want to change. We just dig our feet in and pretend nothing’s wrong. My description for myself used to be that I’d stand in the middle of the room stomping, my fists clenched, sweat dripping off my brow because I was so mad, pounding and screaming, “I’M NOT MAD!!!” Apparently that was pre-contemplative.
Without much further ado and with great thanks to everyone who participates and listens, thank you so much, I’ll ask us all to take a breath. I want everyone to get as comfortable as they can. I am tucked in my big king bed with my maroon down comforter, and outside there’s a beautiful, clean, white, fluffy snow falling in the forest. It’s so quiet, no cars, no airplanes, no ferries, no sound but what’s real. There is one of the last great bodies of water surrounding me, so I sit in the middle of a crystal.
Today I want us to breathe into the air that I’m surrounded by, this crystalline power of Mother Earth, of compassion, of creation in its purest form, the Earth that you are connected to. That’s the purest form.
We will command that only the most divine light shine down upon you at this time and the greatest good be present here.
0:12:10.0 The Party: Welcome to 2018! We want to thank Barbara for introducing us in such a way that really does set the stage for what we want to focus on this year. We are forever grateful for having an audience willing to take our processes and put them into your bodies. In this action of change—and that is the very stage that we’re speaking of, the action stage, when you take action to change yourself—you are indeed not only being a part of the evolution of human consciousness, to where Compassion is the governing force from within, but you are also changing the way that matter manifests around you.
This year we want to focus on the second of those. The first will be a byproduct of you focusing on the second: focusing on your energy, your life, your decisions, your actions, the action stage of change. Because 2018 will require that you are able to make decisions for the good of the whole at a very fast pace.
That doesn’t mean you can’t ever slow down and relax and not worry about anything. Quite the contrary. We don’t mean that there will be only stressful decisions coming your way. That can be any day of the week.
What we mean is, for yourself, for the internal decision-making aspect of your operating system—which consists of your Intuition impelling an action spurred on by an Emotional dictate connected to Compassion, and then the Intellectual definition and therefore action that gets taken—if you see that energy, those three human dimensions, and how they operate, you can see that Emotion turning into the voice of Compassion as Intuition to impel the entire system to take a step for the good of the whole system is the turning point of change, between that and then what the Intellect does in response to that impelling.
When we say you’ll be challenged to make decisions for the good of the whole rapidly, it isn’t a stress thing as much as it is, imagine getting your “blah-blah-blah” Intellect out of the way. Imagine the feeling of openness, of fresh air in your head. Imagine this picture that Barbara has painted of being surround by crystal water, the power of that water. It’s like she’s in the middle of a crystal, without noise, with fresh air, clean, untainted. That’s what we want your mind to look like. That’s the redefinition that we want to start out with: how to redefine your mind.
Your mind is the mechanism that operates the Intellect. That’s how we distinguish between those two terms. Intellect is a bigger contraption and the mind is a part of its functioning, in the intersection between spirit and physical. Your mind defines your mind, it defines itself.
As many of you experience and have been talking about, those definitions in your mind that are lodged in there from repeated patterns—now you’re realizing it isn’t even just your childhood, but centuries of lives you’ve experienced in other DNA space-time bodies, in other Lenses, other universes, going on right there on the surface of the planet. But this life, in 2018, is the life where you choose to take action and make that change.
So there’s a good redefinition for you if you need something to hold onto or to tack on the wall. There’s a good reminder that you need to look at a bigger continuum of what’s going on, that you are able to see a greater picture. You can’t lose sight of the personal, of course. That’s your platform. That’s the byproduct of all of this work.
When you regenerate, a very simple explanation is “to sustain, a sustainability.” Rather than being so depleted of resources and energy that you’re starved, there’s a continual flow of resource and a positive, direct use of that resource that increases the resource and does not deplete energy. It’s not like there aren’t still seasons or life and death, but there’s a regenerative operating system that is recognized, and those within it, you with the physical bodies, are working to be that change within it.
There are so many around the world right now on the planet in 2018, more and more and more are being driven to take action. When you look at the global situation right now, also try to remember this cycle of change. Many people in the world had no idea that change was needed. The uncovering of the truth is now bringing them to understand that, “We’d better have some change soon.” As you become more aware, you realize it’s not “soon,” it’s “now” when I need to make change. It’s now when I have to find a way.
In people’s behavior you’re seeing that some humans are pushed to a degree of insanity because of their unpreparedness, their clinging to that pre-contemplative stage. The kicking and screaming are intense. They blame other people. They want to bomb other people. You’ll see each individual on the planet being given the same power to change. Some will take it and some won’t. That is that moment we were speaking of earlier between when Emotion drives an Intuitive impelling—that’s one part of it—and then Intellect takes that and interprets it and takes action—that’s where that second part turns into something else.
If you were to also look (for those of you who are metaphysicians and like to see pictures of energy and how that looks) if you have an abscess and it’s throbbing, it’s Emotion at that deep level sending the message up, and Intuition is impelling, “Change.” It gets over to the other side and the message is blotted out and the Intellect puts its own message in there for the good of the few.
You can see this entire model in each individual who has been given the power to make this change. And some won’t. They’ll come around again. It’s OK. But we’re concerned with those who are at the stage where they want to make that change.
So this year, understand that that change means that you have to reinvent something. You have to reinvent what has not been operating correctly. Think about being an inventor. Do you define yourself as an inventor? Or do you say that you’re not very creative or can’t do things well? Thinking now that you’ll be required to reinvent your life, your actions, your whole operating system, you’re in the process—now you have to go back to the first and redefine yourself.
This is a cycle of change as well: redefinition, regeneration, reinvention. Again you come back around where there will be another wave and you’ll be redefining. Redefining is a regular part of your new operating system. Not only redefining those old definitions—that you’re not good enough, smart enough, powerful enough, can’t do it—but redefining who you are. As Barbara said, this will be a familiar mantra in 2018: “You have no idea how powerful you are.” And we mean that on every level. On the level where you can wake up in the morning and say, “I am going to accept that I’m more powerful than I even know,” and also in the humility of looking at the power of Compassion that you can never know, because it’s like knowing God. You can know God, but you can’t really describe God. You can’t have words for the whole of God. You are God in that sense.
You do not understand [how powerful you are] and are in this place of change where you’re out of the pre-contemplative stage and you want to make that change. You’re taking steps to make that change. You’re changing the system, the whole entire system. And you’re experiencing times where you’re just maintaining it. It’s working really well. You’ve done it!
But don’t allow a relapse back into being in a pre-contemplative state [to throw you], because that’s the cycle. It’s the cycle of waking up a little at a time. You can’t just let that whole power plant surge through your outlets. You wake up a little at a time.
We want to say a few words to all of you who work so hard. When you lose your bodies, you will have such a laugh! Not even in an ironic way. Just in the way where there’s a great relief that comes in knowing that you didn’t have to know it all. That you weren’t supposed to be in as much control as you drove yourself to be in.
Every nanosecond when energy was bubbling up through the earth, breaking through to the surface to create your physical body, heartbeat by heartbeat, breath by breath, present moment—talk about present moment, it’s happening now, the miracle! Even as you sit there and do nothing, you feel the miracle of energy surging up through your body to create your body. Then you’re projecting the entire universe and then perceiving it and interpreting it. This is a big job. This is a lot of information. You cannot just wake up to it. You do not just get there. You’re taking your life and committing it to self-awareness, to change for the greater good and for the tiniest good. The greatest good of you, the greatest good of the world around you.
When you lose your bodies and get back to this place, there’s a great joy and a reunion that goes on. We want to talk just a minute about death and say that our job here—those who have come together to make this commitment to help the humans who have bodies in 2018—is that this project and intention of ours to influence you is only about you taking care of you. Everything else becomes a byproduct of that. You do interact with the world. It’s so important that you make compassionate choices when you’re out in the world dealing with people. It strengths the network of the divine.
But really, in the end, when you love yourself in all these ways that we’ve been speaking of for 25 years or more, today, it’s about you and your relationship to yourself. In this year of redefinition, we’ll redefine you as perfect. A perfect operating system. You have the perfect operating system that you are going to change and evolve. And not because it’s not perfect, but because change and evolution are a part of its mathematical basis of regeneration and reinvention.
0:31:30.5 Einstein: I want you to think of yourself as inventors. In many ways, I invented theories, but not like those who went into the laboratory and put together some kind of physical model of the experiment they wanted, whether it was Faraday or the Curies. My forum was pen and paper. You become the laboratory for me and those of us who are here to inspire this change.
We cannot express enough the gratitude that we have that for 25 years we have been able to come together through Barbara’s voice with groups of people to share our viewpoint, to have them participate with us. It’s a success already. We have succeeded in fulfilling what we have set out to do: to plant the seeds of this kind of change.
The Party: And those of you who have been involved, for however long, you have seen the culture change around you, have you not? To be more open, more accepting, more interested, more integrated with these ideas of the inventors, yourselves, inventing these. You see the world change because of those inventions. That is a very honorable place for everyone to be. And any time we can help you redefine yourself, to understand that, just call upon us. We will tell you. You’ll have to think you’re a little crazy in your head to invite in Einstein and the Party, which is a huge party going on here. But then you know that. And you’re a part of it.
What we’re trying to do is to get you accustomed, all of you humans who still have bodies, to the part of your energy that’s already dead, here with us. You have to be careful, because your culture will tell you you’re crazy. But it makes no difference to us, because we know that when you lose your body, you’re going to have a good laugh.
Let’s start off 2018 redefining ourselves as inventors, and let’s use all the tools that we’ve given you and that you’ve learned to change that one person: you. Change yourself. Strive every day to find the places in your operating system that diminish you and change them. That process, if we had to break it down, would be two-part: breathing the Emotion (because when you break out of the pre-contemplative phase and realize that you have a problem, there’s Emotion that follows) and then changing that thought process and those decisions of what you’re going to do.
You’ll find that by the time we get to our last dissertation in Paris at the end of the year you will have found that those voices that diminish you will have diminished themselves. All of you will find the manifestation of this inner work in ways very specific to you, but they are expanding and bringing abundance, relationships, and a deeper trust in yourself, something that you can never lose. Once you learn to care so deeply for yourself, that becomes your operating system. You’ll never lose that again. Everything else springs from that.
With all of this said, we would like to now open for questions and conversation.
Robin: Hello. Thank you, Einstein and Party, for this wonderful dissertation. I have a question myself and also several from Cassandra. I’d like to start with Cassandra’s list. Her first question is, Are spirits on the other side able to taste food?
Party: To a certain degree, but not like you who have the physical chemical action that’s going on. It’s more like the memory of food.
Robin: OK, thank you! You touched on this a bit in your dissertation, about calling upon you and the Party. Her next question is, How much are spirit guides able to intervene and help us when we’re on earth? What is their role in general?
Party: Think of the guidance in two ways. One is, we’re out here cheering for you, rooting for you, being your friend, giving you sage advice, being just another entity in your community of life, your family, etc. To some extent, we can’t do anything any more than anybody else can.
On the other side of it, we’re not going to rig the game so that you “win.” But we work with you (the part of you we were talking about, the part of you that’s dead already) to ultimately manifest what you manifest. In other words, we’ll take the example of you, Robin, you’ve been feeling a little down, going through some times that require more nurturing on your part, a very common condition for the human psyche. All of those events that led to that condition were ultimately done by you with the assistance of the guides, but it’s your greater power that is manifesting those things around you.
Spirit guides are best utilized as friends and not as supernatural beings that will intervene any more than a friend might. If you were stepping off the curb and a bus was coming, a spirit guide might grab you and pull you back. But you wouldn’t want to rely on that. You’d want to be able to be aware of a bus. If you weren’t, then when you got here to the other side you’d have a good laugh. We hope that answers the question.
Robin: Yes, I think so! Thank you. She has another one here. Is there an earth spirit that represents the planet earth, and if so, what would it say to us, especially about the way humans have been treating the earth?
Party: There is an earth spirit. It works through gazillions of pieces, it speaks through the earth itself, the trees, the air, the animals, you. It’s saying that if you don’t take care of me, you will lose your own life. The earth will go on. It’s a similar message of what we’ve been saying to you as humans. If you don’t take care of yourself and your inner life, care for yourself with love and compassion, treat yourself with the greatest good of all, then you’ll lose your life. You’ll eventually end up living in some sort of purgatory where you’re not really living, you’re not happy, you’re lost in process. That’s the message right now.
Robin: Thank you. The questions that I had you touched on, with difficulty. Barbara and I were having a conversation about this the other day, too, in that sometimes the conflict—we are grateful for the lessons that come out of it and we know enough to not blame anyone and feel the blessings and stop and say, “Oh, my gosh, I need change!” But we also were wondering, is there an easier way to maybe find these abscesses, connect with them, heal them, without them having to play out in painful ways in real life, in that pre-contemplation stage?
0:43:25.4 Party: Two answers: one is yes and the other is no.
The yes answer is that if you think about how you dealt with emotion in your life 25 years ago, you have made it a great deal easier. You would have been creating a great deal more drama in your life, a great deal more inner turmoil, had you not been a student of this and yourself, not just us, but a student of yourself, who you came here to be. So you’ve made it easier.
But is it possible to extract the abscess without feeling the pain? That’s the no. If you think about Jesus, in his life, he went into that 33rd or 27th life—the final life as Jesus Christ—as perfect a human as could be. He processed Emotion in a way that no one else could understand. All of his emotions became his power. He did that through living all those other lives as Jesus. You have to do it that way, too, but in a smaller sense. You’re changing yourself through your self-awareness, and thereby what could have been suffering and pain 20 years ago now becomes your power. (Although yes, you’re going through a difficult spell now.)
The way that Jesus had to finally integrate everything was to feel physical pain that would give him an empathy for suffering that he didn’t have prior to being nailed to the cross. It’s not that he didn’t have empathy, it’s not that he hadn’t come as one very perfect evolved psyche of a human. But he needed to feel that pain, to connect on a molecular level. What becomes suffering is when you beat yourself up while you’re feeling the pain, you judge yourself, you diminish yourself, you say you shouldn’t be feeling the pain. All of that is what the suffering is. The rest of it is the first step to accepting that you’re going to feel the pain, and that then becomes the next step to transforming and regenerating the pain.
In other words, you have to quit denying the pain and feel what you … the reason it’s an abscess in the first place is because you don’t want to feel it! Because once you get there, then you can begin to transform it into something else. You can take that pain and turn it into pleasure, turn it into pure healing energy once you’re able to breathe it through your body and then marry it to an intellectual definition. You redefine it. You’re feeling a deep pain, but instead of saying, “What’s wrong with me?” or “That person did this!” you’re saying, “I am connected to the most powerful force in the universe, Compassion. It is by nature a regenerative force that is surging through my body now, regenerating all of my molecules with compassion and love.” You can see how much different it is. It’s still moving through your body, but now you are transforming it into something.
This is an experiment. We’ve done this for 25 years. This isn’t like we’re telling you something that’s been done over and over again. Our theory is—based on what we’ve seen, it looks good: by allowing yourself to feel the pain, it becomes your power. Then you learn what that means, to control your power, how to transform your power, what to do with your power. As we said, you are more powerful than you will ever know.
Robin: Thank you for that clarity and the model, hearing it again, it always seems like I take away another nugget. Just like any perfecting or mastery of anything. You go back in, you hear it again, you see it in a new way, you take another nugget, and then you apply it. I’m eternally grateful.
0:49:04.3 Party: Yes. Think of yourself as a sculptor. You’ve been given a huge mound of clay. It will take a lifetime to sculpt. You step up, you step close, you step back, you take breaks. It’s a never-ending story.
Robin: Which comes back to the cycle that Barbara opened with. It’s like a spiral.
Party: Yes, absolutely. A spiral, and about the place where you are on the spiral, because it keeps spiraling. If you think about it as a moving—it’s finite, but it’s continually spinning, and you’re going up. It’s sort of like those rabbit ears with the electricity that keeps going up and up. It’s nonstop.
Robin: Thank you. I’m excited about this series and inventing in 2018.
Party: Yes. In the sessions to come, we will have some sessions together of invention. What does it mean to invent? How to invent? Where does that divine vision come from of how to take the thought and turn it into the actual physical thing? That’s an exciting part for us, too. We, too, are eternally grateful that you are here with us in great collaboration. Thank you.
Robin: Thank you.
Cathy: I wanted to share a couple comments. I totally understand how when we’re in the midst of something difficult, we want to figure out how we can get through it without the physical pain. But when we can step back and look at it about being more aware, the whole purpose of life in the human body seems to be to experience the experiment of life.
What I came up with from the dissertation today is a sound bite for asking for help. Where I can come up with sound bites for the problem, the issue that I have, that’s easy to come up with. But encompassing a real powerful thing for me now is to, when I know I’m not in awareness or I’m in doubt about something and I want to have that Intuition, now I can ask for “crystal-clear intuition.” When it hit me, I knew that that’s my new mantra for when I’m in the middle of a crisis. I can just say “crystal-clear intuition” and then allow all that encompasses that to be a part of me. I wanted to share that. Thank you.
0:52:27.9 Party: Yes. The mantra is like an invocation of bringing forth that crystal-clear intuition. Remember that the cacophony of the Intellect, which oftentimes mars that crystal clarity, can still go on if you get into the space between the Intuition and the Intellect. When you’re in that place and you realize you have to ask for help and you’re evoking this for yourself, take a minute while you’re breathing and do a visualization.
Think about the Intuition and the Intellect as a joint that comes together, two bones that come together. They’re held together by cartilage and muscle and they bend and they’re connected to one another, but there’s a space between the two. That way you don’t have to waste time struggling to quiet your Intellect in the thinking process. It can go on over there. You’re just going to move to a quiet space for a minute. That will help the clarity address itself and get to you in that moment.
Cathy: Yes, thank you for the crystal-clear clarity!
Party: Now we will close the channel by saying that from where we’re sitting right now, we feel as if we’re in a circle. There’s a circle behind that and one behind that and one behind that. Some of the spirits on those circles that go up are people who will be listening to this in the future. Some are members of the Party who are here in afterlife with us. Some of it is angelic presence. It truly is a very large Party.
What we want to bring home to you in 2018 is that we’re always here. Whether you think of us in a football stadium or an operating room theater, however you see that gathering of intelligence and compassion in the form of this Party, we’re here. Come visit us any time. We will have as much joy talking with you as we have talking through Barbara today. We see great things happening ahead, for each of you individually, but also for the world.
When you despair and look at the world and it seems so crazy and you’re so stressed out, aside from feeling and breathing, remember that this is a cycle of change. You’re witnessing the movement from pre-contemplative space to understanding that change is needed. And you see it. There is no denying this when you look at your world today. It doesn’t mean that everything’s changed, but more and more and more people are standing up to say, “Now I will be the change. I am out of my pre-contemplative stage and I will be the change.”
Know that just as with you, when you personally go through some kind of change, the world is opening up to the bigger joy to where it doesn’t have to be suffering. There’s a ways to go, but 2018 we feel will be a year of great master change, and we are honored and pleased to tell you, for the 25th year, to watch and be amazed.
And please help yourself to this free eBook, 2017 Series Re-Boot Camp. Includes interviews with Robin Cordova, Kimberly Lilith Phelps, Cathy Kline, Leslie Stewart and Ken Routson on subjects of hope, joy, Conflict REVOLUTION® 101, thriving, the gifts of Alzheimer’s and autism, and so much more!
If I had to describe the State of the World today in one word, I’d say “insane”:
Exhibiting a severely disordered state of mind
From my seat on the bus, it looks like the collective Intellect of the planet has lost Its mind. No one knows what to think anymore. The shock of the transparency that’s sweeping the globe—everyone’s true nature coming out, including Mother Nature— creates a cognitive dissonance, leaving our minds fluctuating between numb and constant conflict. Nothing is predictable and anything can happen at any time.
Watching the news and looking at the state of the world can leave me hopeless, even terrified. Talk about the End Times. We’ve hit the survival level of needed change, so change is happening, whether we like it or not.
What are we to do in a world that seems so out of control?
I believe my part is to make peace in myself, and then make peace with the state of the world. Believe me, I do not say these words lightly. We’ve had two murders in my family. Making peace with those events forced me to deeply challenge my beliefs about the nature of life and death, my purpose, forgiveness, eternal life.
Finding peace with the world, just as it is, is a similar challenge. How do we make peace with an insane dictator, an idiotic president, a war machine, natural disasters, monster storms, or any of the other disparaging inequities and horrific conflicts happening all around us?
I believe we are here to be a part of creating an elegant transition: to use our own love to guide the next step in this evolution of human consciousness that started long before we were born and will carry on long after we are gone. We are here to become the change and be the love we are looking for and that the world so desperately needs.
We came here to change our own operating system from one of fear and conflict to one of love and unity. We are here to learn to make decisions for the good of all. Regardless of what is happening around us, we have been given power over ourselves—our thoughts, feelings, senses, and decisions. We have been given the choice to act in love, or not.
That is the good news! That no matter what anyone else does, we don’t have to allow it to sway us in how we act. No one can take our self-love away from us but us.
Einstein and the Party have a brilliant way of framing this that brings me great peace and hope. Please join us for our next live 2017 RE-Boot on Sunday, November 19 at 9 AM Central. I have no doubt they will have much to say on this subject. It’s sure to be uplifting and inspiring, a much-needed condition considering the state of the world right now.
Remember, when the plane is going down, put on your own oxygen mask first. Let’s get ourselves operating in love first and foremost, and then may we have the greatest influence possible on our local universe. And if anyone can give us some practical step-by-step instructions for how to self-love, it’s Einstein.
Join us as we welcome author and psychic Leslie Stewart, who channels the collective known as Orion. We will be talking about her book, Trust and Allow the Process of Life, In-Joy and exploring the nature of joy, free will, and how to get out of the way and trust the flow.
Orion is a non-physical collective consciousness that speaks through Leslie. Instead of focusing on predictions, Orion instructs us on how we can create the life of our choice. Although Orion can provide us with future probabilities, they also give us insight on how our current beliefs and feelings have attracted past events.
And more importantly, Orion provides us with tools and inspiration that enable clients to transform their consciousness. By assisting us in understanding the law of attraction, they help us to raise our vibration—thus allowing us to attract more favorable events and experiences into our lives. Their tutelage can help to enhance our awareness and growth, and assist us in understanding the multidimensional beings that we are and reclaiming our authentic power.
Barbara: Good morning. It’s Sunday, March 26, 2017. I am Barbara With. You are here with me and the Party of 12. Partyof12.com is where you can find all things Einsteinian from beyond the grave, news from the Party of 12, and of course information about Conflict REVOLUTION, our imagined Einstein’s miraculous process for world peace, one person at a time, starting with you—or me. I’ll start with me, you start with you.
My mission this year with my 12-part 2017 Re-Boot Series is to visit places where Einstein’s path, that we’ve channeled and researched and experimented with for the past decades, crosses paths with other knowledge and other bodies of knowledge. To that end, I was prepared to have a wonderful woman on the show today, Leslie Stewart, an author and a channel who wrote a book entitled Trust and Allow the Process of Life In-Joy! I was looking forward to doing today’s show on joy.
But something came up that prompted me to move her appearance to the April show. I did a few coaching sessions and had a conflict of my own that inspired me to devote this today’s show to presenting Conflict REVOLUTION 101, the most basic way to teach Conflict REVOLUTION, step-by-step instructions aimed at absolute beginners—people who have never heard this information before. Even though I have geared it for beginners, this will also help out the rest of us who have been doing this process ad infinitum, some of us literally for decades. It will help us to remember the power of being a perpetual beginner. Sometimes when we’re lost in overwhelming, uncomfortable feelings and our thoughts are out of control, one way to make the shift back into control of your own domain and to start the revolution is to go back to square one, to start at the beginning, review what you know, and take baby steps as if you’re a beginner.
My challenge with this is that the unified field theory and the maps of human consciousness that I have presented over these past decades represent an enormously complex system. It works sequentially. Describing how matter is made manifest one step at a time from nothing into everything is a very big undertaking. I’m so close to it that I don’t trust myself to know what’s necessary and what’s not, because I’ll always go deep. It’s my nature. It all seems necessary to me.
I called up two of my certified coaches, Cathy Kline in Columbus, Ohio, and Robin Cordova, on Bainbridge Island in Washington state, to help me craft a simple vision. They’ll be joining us in a while to share some of their own Conflict REVOLUTION stories. I asked them each two things. First: “What is the simplest way to explain Conflict REVOLUTION? What are the bare, minimal elements of the whole huge unified field theory and the maps of human consciousness that are needed in order to show someone how to do it effectively?” Second: “How do we as trainers inspire you who are learning it, when you are in those moments and the bad emotions are surging and your thoughts are out of control, to take a different step and make a different decision that will move you toward your revolution?” Because those moments of overwhelming emotion and out-of-control thoughts are the place where we do the work of Conflict REVOLUTION.
ConRev is all about catching yourself in the act of making a decision that is not good for you. It’s about doing something different in that moment. When we change our energy that deeply, we are helping to change the way our entire system operates. The more we make conscious decisions in those moments, the more we’re working for the good of the whole, first of all for us and then for the entire situation. Each time it becomes easier in those conflicted moments to not only decide to make a different choice to do something else, but then to do it. That’s what it’s all about.
After my discussion with Cathy and Robin, we concluded that the bottom line was, “Give them step-by-step instructions that are simple and easy to understand and then teach through example.” The best way I can inspire anyone to do Conflict REVOLUTION is to do it myself, get the miraculous results, and then share that with people who need inspiration. Because the truth is, in that moment you are the only one who can make that decision. I can’t get into your head and make you think different things. I can’t force you to breathe emotion through your body. Only you can make that decision in that moment, and those are the hardest moments in which to make them.
So much of our culture and the way that people have traditionally resolved conflict is sitting down with the person and saying, “We need to talk through our issues.” Sometimes that works, for a while. But it doesn’t get very deep. The object of Conflict REVOLUTION is helping each individual find peace within the self, and in doing that, to contribute on a global level to the collective consciousness of peace as well.
I have several conflicts, the original conflicts that excited me and made me want to do this. Something happened a few days ago with Cathy where she was in that state of overwhelming emotion and runaway thoughts. We did a revolution, and it was so remarkable that I decided to revamp the conflict I’m going to bring—although there are so many good ones to share—and I want to ask those of you who are listening, whether it’s live or after the fact, to bring a conflict of your own to this session. It doesn’t have to be any particular conflict. You can learn Conflict REVOLUTION using any conflict you want, but I like to advise people to bring one that entails another human being, because it’s a lot easier to look in the mirror of another human being and see yourself than it is to look in the mirror of, say, war or financial crisis. It’s not impossible. I have done every kind of conflict under the sun. But if you use somebody who’s in your life, it’ll give you a better opportunity to see yourself.
Get a pad and paper. You’ll be writing things down. You can work your conflict along with us. At the end, you’ll have your own action plan, something that tomorrow morning before you get out of bed you can have right there by your bedside. You can start your day with a prayer of gratitude—“Thank you for another amazing, miraculous day of life. I fully intend—” set your intention—“to watch myself today,” and here’s your action plan of what you will do, the decisions you will make. Also name your conflict. That is the beginning of creating what we call sound bites. Sound bites are essential because your imagination and your intellect and your reasoning can talk to you ad nauseam about whatever you’re obsessed over in a conflict. You can go on and on in your head. We all have done it. When we start to develop sound bites, we’re paring down meanings, getting to a simpler place. Naming it is an important piece. Every conflict for me is a case study. I can say, “Ah, the Headache Project!” or “I’m a Liar!” and I know the whole conflict. So name your conflict.
We’re going to start with step-by-step instructions. Based upon my conversations with Robin and Cathy, this is what we have come up with as the simplest way to understand Conflict REVOLUTION. The first piece is that this is one-sided work. This is not conflict resolution, where you sit down and make sure you have good sentence structure and tone and you look in people’s eyes and try to resolve something. It’s not that. This is one-sided work. In fact, the ground rule is: your domain is your responsibility. It is not your responsibility to take care of somebody else’s conflict, and someone else is not responsible for taking care of your conflict. Your domain is your responsibility.
The values that we use when we’re doing this one-sided work are:
To be nonjudgmental. Remember, this is a science experiment. It’s not a priest telling you you’re bad or good.
To have passion. In this life we have to train ourselves that we not only have the right to feel all of our feelings, but we have the responsibility to feel all of the emotion that is flowing through us. That’s what passion is. We’ll find out as we go forward that emotion is the creative juice of the manifestation of everything physical. But to us personally, it is our life force. It’s the first dimension in the building block of who we are.
To have creativity. Remember, this is a creative process, so we’re looking outside the box, we’re pushing ourselves to think in new ways, we’re canoodling with metaphors that will reveal themselves to us.
To have humor. If you can’t laugh at yourself, we will. You are free to laugh at me, because humor is so important in getting us out of a stuck place.
So when you find yourself being judgmental, shift over to a nonjudgmental point of view. One way to do that is, if you’re judging something to be bad, purposefully find the good in it. Or if you’re clinging to something that’s good, purposefully find the bad in it. Then you have the whole picture and you’re nonjudgmental. When you’re lacking passion, get in touch with emotion. That’ll get those juices flowing again. When you’re stuck, reach for your creativity.
This is the basic description that we’ll work with of who you are, the picture we’ll be painting. You have three human dimensions that work together to create your ability to have a human experience in the physical world. Think of it as a wave that starts at your feet, flows up through your body, all the way through the top of your head, and when it comes out there, it goes around again and starts again at your feet. There’s the flow of your life force. It’s like a string. The three human dimensions are Emotion, located in your solar plexus, Intuition, located in your heart or your chest area, and Intellect, located in your head.
Now you have three separate places that we’ll also begin to associate with those things so we can begin to separate those three human dimensions from one another. Because we have all been operating as if it’s just one big crazy mass of energy, and it’s hard to tell what Intellect is, what Emotion is. We’re thinking about a feeling, we’re thinking about a conflict, and we think we’re feeling it. There is some Emotion in there, there always is, but this will help us separate them and understand their roles clearly.
The last piece of this puzzle is what we call the Witness. That is the part of you that has the ability to step back and watch your Emotion, Intuition, and Intellect, to observe those three human dimensions. Maybe you’d call that the observer of self. Maybe you’re looking at your human self from your soul self. Maybe it might feel like dissociation. That Witness will help facilitate making decisions in those conflicted moments.
Very basically, Emotion, or feelings, in the solar plexus is not just what we typically think of as emotions—sadness, happiness, joy, anger. In my new book Einstein et al., there are two pages in nine-point type on Emotion. There’s a huge range of Emotion. We’ve been taught to only feel the good ones, and even that—I was never taught how to do that effectively. But in Conflict REVOLUTION we’ll learn how to feel the entire range of feelings. That’s a way to get the flow moving. We want to have a circular flow of our string constantly moving through us like water. Emotion is the fuel, the primordial soup, as it were, of energy that’s the beginning step of the creation of the physical world through our bodies, our perception of it. At that level there’s no thinking, no reasoning, no reasons why you feel this way, there’s nothing to do about it. There’s just pure, unadulterated Emotion.
As that flow moves up into the heart, where Intuition is situated, we have Emotion now becoming a voice. Our emotions guide us, and Intuition becomes the voice of what we call Compassion. In Conflict REVOLUTION, Compassion is the fifth fundamental force of the universe, the intelligence within us that is impelling the creation of the physical world—the garden, the earth—one step at a time, starting with zero and sequentially walking into the infinity of the universe. Compassion, among other things, impels us to work for the good of the whole system. You might call it God, Goddess, the universe. It is the life force that at its root is programmed to take care of all parts of the entire system, creating all parts of it.
Within you, the voice of Intuition is telling you the next step to take, the next decision to make that will be good for the whole situation that you’re in at that moment. It’s important to redefine Intuition here as something that first of all, everyone has as part of their functioning system, and secondly, is meant to tell you what to do in present moment. It’s always sending you signals: “Beat, heart. Breathe,” those kinds of subliminal impelling. It’s always telling you the next thing you can do that will be best for the whole situation. Making decisions for the good of the whole, that’s Compassion. You take care of yourself first and you look outside and see everything else that’s needed and you make a decision to the best of your ability that will benefit the whole situation. That’s what we’re looking for here.
It starts with the three human dimensions. When we understand how they all work together and we begin by taking care of ourselves, we come back to the physical world whole, aligned to Compassion, ready to be a peacemaker, ready to contribute to world peace, not just working from our ego or what we think should be intellectually.
You’ve got Emotion that flows up into your chest area and becomes Intuition, and it’s impelling you to take a step. When it flows up into the Intellect, that’s where all of the descriptions of the physical world lie. So within you you have Emotion that will be the chair. As it flows up into your heart and your Intuition says to that part of you, “Go be a chair,” and it gets into your Intellect, there’s a description. It starts out, “I am a green chair sitting in the corner in Wisconsin in 2017.” But then it flips, like the lens of an eye or a revolution, to, “That is a chair in the corner.” That is a very basic explanation of how these three dimensions work. All of this is projected through and perceived by your body. Even though the chair is in the corner over there, it begins within you.
What happens in the Intellect, however, is that imagination comes in, rationalization, patterns of thinking you don’t even know you have that were drilled into you as a child, as a baby, even. And for those of you who believe in past lives, sometimes we have thoughts, feelings, senses, memories, and energies of past lives coming through us, infiltrating our thinking process. So when you are triggered by a negative emotion, you also trigger degenerative thoughts that wed to that emotion, and that becomes a reality.
I was working with a woman the other day who was saying, “I’m so mad because S. will never, ever, ever stay one minute longer for her shift to help out. She just won’t do it.” I said, “Did you ask her?” “Well, no.” “Why don’t you?” So she called her. “Oh, yes, I’d be happy to!” How long would that woman have walked around with an angry emotion married to the thought that S. never does anything? How does that affect her relation with S.?
Our job here is to keep all emotions flowing, listen to the intuitive impelling, and then Intellect, instead of rationalizing and projecting and getting all clogged up with imagination, is meant to hear that impelling of Intuition and make the decision to take action to fulfill the intuitive impelling. Because here’s the catch: free will operates in the intellectual arena. You don’t make a decision with your solar plexus or with your heart. You implement decision-making in your intellectual area. That’s where free will takes place. Your Intuition can be telling you, “Rest,” but your Intellect can be saying, “No, I can’t rest. I don’t have time to rest. If I rest, bad things will happen.” You make the decision to keep working. That is the basic kind of conflict that we first resolve within ourselves—and it changes everything.
We’ll hear some stories in a minute from the trainers about how they’ve used it and the miraculous outcomes they’ve had. I could write a whole case study book about the miraculous outcomes when we do this work. When I say “miracle,” I mean facilitating a result that I could not have facilitated by going directly into the arena of the conflict. I could not have facilitated this outcome that came up had I sat down with my client and talked to the issues. That’s the miracle. Those are the miracles we’ll create.
The Witness part of you also operates in the intellectual arena. It’s stepping back, taking notes. “Look at me thinking I can’t do that. Look at me being judgmental. Look at all that deep anxiety in my solar plexus. Listen, there’s Intuition telling me what to do.” The Witness, the observer, has the ability to inspire you to make those different decisions. When you know what decisions you should be making, it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll make them, but it’s a much easier step to be inspired to make them.
With all that said, I’ll share my conflict. It’s called “Assumptions and Miscommunications.” This will be an epic conflict for the rest of my life because I learned so much through it. The one I was originally going to do was a woman I was coaching with a miraculous outcome. She named hers “Tiptoeing through the Minefields of Facebook.” I thought, “Raise your hand if you’ve never been triggered by something somebody said on Facebook.” Of course, no one has a hand up. So we’ll focus on this and then bring on Robin and Cathy in a minute.
I was coaching Maxinne one-to-one on Conflict REVOLUTION. Here’s something I learned a long time ago: when I coach, I need to have my own conflict that I’m focused on, because there’s a 75% chance that when I coach someone, I will be triggered. I learned this when Teresa McMillian, one of the co-founders and co-authors, my dear friend, years ago finally decided to use Conflict REVOLUTION to address her migraines, which were frequent and horrible. She asked me if I would help coach her. We called her conflict “The Headache Project.” I quickly discovered that I was being triggered by my sister. My sister and I had a lifelong conflict. She gave me a headache. So I could call it the “Headache Project,” and we could get a two-fer.
This is what happened with Maxinne. She has a massage therapy business, and because of some limitations she’s going through right now, she can’t do massages. Her revenue is dependent on the massage therapists who work through her office. She gets a cut of that. We were doing the training. She had an active conflict. She understood that she was working to learn how to make decisions for the good of the whole. She arranged for her massage therapist Judy to have a reading with me. I asked, “Phone or Skype?” She said, “I want to come in person.” I don’t do many readings in person any more, I don’t think it’s necessary, but I honored it because she was Maxinne’s friend.
We made an appointment. The only time that we could do it was if she came to where I was staying at 4:00 and we were done by 5:30 because my hostess was coming home and there was no privacy to do the reading. At 10:00 the morning of the reading, Maxinne got a request for a massage that afternoon that would have put Judy to my place at 4:30 or 5:00. She texted me and said, “Can you move the reading? Can she get there at 5:00?” I said, “No, I can’t, but I can do it by phone.” And I thought, understanding what was going on, that they would definitely take the walk-in traffic and we could reschedule by phone. In my mind that was what was for the good of the whole. So I said, “Have her call me, we’ll reschedule. We’ll do it by phone. It’s no big deal.”
I didn’t hear from anyone, and I just assumed that that’s what they did, because money was the big trigger. She needed money. “Yeah, get money, let’s be abundant, this is wonderful!” So I changed my plans. At 4:00 I was walking out the door, and a woman was walking up and down the sidewalk. Turned out to be Judy, right on time—early, in fact. I got triggered in that moment. I told her, “I thought you had canceled.” She said no. I did the reading. When I asked what she wanted, she didn’t seem as if she were in emotional distress. She just wanted to see what channeling was. That triggered me a bit, like I was on display. But it was a beautiful reading. I did my quick revolution and really enjoyed the reading. She was buoyed by it.
Later that night, I got an email from Maxinne. She was pissed. She said, “Why could you not have moved her appointment to 5:00? I just lost $80? How is that good for the whole?”
That’s my conflict.
Right now, I want to bring on Robin Cordova, who is also going to share some of her work and her conflict, and then we’ll do ours together, and then we’ll bring Cathy on and she’ll also share.
Good morning, Robin, how are you today?
Robin: Good morning, Barbara, I’m great! Thank you.
Barbara: I want to ask you a question before we get into your conflict. How do you experience the Witness? When I do my Witness, I feel schizophrenic, like I have two voices in my head. But I’m OK with it, because I know what it is. How do you experience the Witness?
Robin: That’s a good visual. I experience it as a healthy split. I know that part of me is splitting off to step outside of myself and pay attention to what’s happening around me, listening to my thoughts and my feelings. I try to make sure to ground myself as well.
Barbara: Ah, good idea! How do you do that?
Robin: I use the circle visualization that you explained in the opening. That’s the most powerful thing when I feel off-center or woozy from becoming a Witness. I ground with that circle visualization that you guided us there at the beginning.
Barbara: Great. What conflict are you bringing?
Robin: A long-time coworker and I, someone I’ve been working with for about 15 years, we live in different states. When we work together, most of our contact is via phone. Sometimes we’ll be in person together, but primarily it’s via phone. We architect and sell mission-critical computer systems, and often our projects take months. They’re difficult. There are a lot of obstacles. In my opinion, the only way to get through them is to be optimistic, to have perseverance, to be grateful for things that are going well, to stay focused and hopeful and work toward solutions. That’s the only way we’ll get through.
Robin: We were going through about a year where things weren’t going well. We had a corporate customer where things were crashing. When systems crash, corporations lose millions of dollars every minute, and it can become quite stressful. When we’d get on the phone, instead of trying to focus on what went well and how we could solve the problem, he wanted to rant and complain and rage and express his frustration at things that were out of his control. Often, especially during this period when we were going through a difficult time, we were talking daily. He’d spend an extra 20 minutes on the phone with me beyond the purpose of the call just to dump all of his negative emotions on me. I’d end up switching into a coaching rescue mode. There’s a difference between coaching and rescuing.
Robin: Coaching is a healthy function; rescuing is an unhealthy function. I was finding myself in the unhealthy function of trying to rescue him and bring him back up emotionally and take on more than my responsibility and trying to fix things and make it OK. I’d hang up zapped of energy. I’ll get to the emotion when we’re ready for that part.
Barbara: Did you name your conflict?
Robin: Yes: “Mr. Downer.”
Barbara: (laughs) That’s good! So we’ve got your “Mr. Downer” and my “Assumptions and Miscommunications.” We’ve laid them out. For those of you who are doing this at home, you can start to see as we move forward what we’ll do with all this information. We’ll identify the three human dimensions within the conflict. It doesn’t matter where you start putting your matrix together. This will be your action plan when you get done. I wouldn’t suggest starting with Intuition. That’s hard, especially if you have an active conflict and you have emotions and thoughts going on. It’s hard to winnow out what the intuitive message is. I’ll start with the intellectual sound bites. The reason we create sound bites is because the imagination and the Intellect can run crazy wild all over you, and you get lost in it.
Barbara: We’re trying to pare down the whole story of the conflict into one or two sentences about what is really bugging you here with the root of the problem with Mr. Downer. What is my problem with Maxinne? You get them so they’re small so a) you can remember them and b) you can call upon them in those times when we get to the process a little later on.
Barbara: For me, [the conflict with Maxinne] was a very easy conflict to parboil down to intellectual sound bites, and one of the great things for me was how quickly I did it. It happened after I stopped. My intellectual sound bites were, “She’s making all kinds of assumptions. She’s not communicating very well.” For a brief time, my Intellect went to, “You know, she never called me back to confirm. She assumed that I did this and that.” But quickly, those two sound bites helped guide me to the next step. My Emotion was irritation, anger, confusion, frustration, impatience. For those of you who are doing this, when you’re trying to identify the emotion of it, don’t go into the reasons why you think you feel this. That’s an intellectual activity. We are looking just to identify and isolate the emotion around this conflict. They should be one-word answers. Robin, how did you get to your intellectual sound bites?
Robin: That’s a good reminder, to separate the Intellect and just focus on the Emotion. I’ll start there. I was feeling furious and outraged and resentful, quite frankly, drained of energy, and that’s what made me feel resentful. Exasperated. I would assign fairly strong emotions in this particular conflict.
Barbara: What about the intellectual sound bite?
Robin: The intellectual sound bite was, “He’s so pessimistic. He’s always hopeless. He brings me down and drains me. And he doesn’t care about the burden he puts on me.”
Barbara: Oh, gosh, I’ve had sound bites like that. (laughs) “They just don’t understand me!”
Robin: (laughs) Exactly!
Barbara: When we’re trying to find the Intuition, it’s a little trickier. Sometimes you can try to think of what Jesus would tell you to do, what a great spiritual leader would tell you to do, what your best friend who knows you and loves you and is kind would tell you to do, what your caring mother would tell you to do if you can’t figure it out. Oftentimes we get into places where we have intense emotions and thoughts about the other person, and it’s hard to separate those out.
Barbara: For me, very quickly, I heard, “Look at yourself.” It’s a form of, “Do the work, do the revolution, do your process.” Because I know that when I do the process, I get the miracle. What will inspire me to do that process when I’m in that place? That was to look at myself and to be kind. Those were the two intuitive messages. And remember also that Intuition is a small, declarative statement that will tell you to do something and that it’s about the next step to take. We can’t figure out what Intuition will tell you to do when you get into a situation. It’s all about present moment and what that Intuition is picking up about the situation and what’s good for the whole. Here we’ll imagine that it’ll work that way, but just understand, as you go forward with your Intuition, that it’s all about what will happen in present moment, not what will happen next week. What was your Intuition telling you?
Robin: There are two branches that came out of this. The first nugget of Intuition I received was to set up boundaries. That was the very first thing I needed to do. It was not my responsibility to make him happy. That was a direct action that I had to take for this conflict, but it wasn’t the full revolution.
Barbara: We’ll get to that in a minute.
Robin: Initially, my Intuition said, “Set up boundaries.” It was a nugget of three words. That was my first step.
Barbara: So now we have our matrix. We have our intellectual sound bites. We have identified what our emotions are. We did some conjecture about what Compassion would want us to do for the good of the whole. I’ll introduce Cathy in a minute, but I want to get to two things about the intellectual sound bites. Our next step is to revolve those sound bites back onto us. “I had poor communication. I was making assumptions.” In this case you would revolve yours to figure out that you had hopelessness, right?
Robin: Yes. And I had to find where I was also pessimistic, which originally was, “I’m not pessimistic! I’m the most optimistic person I know!” (laughs) I’ll get to that more later.
Barbara: For those of you doing this at home, create that revolved sound bite and have that ready. I want to bring on Cathy right now and have her share some things that went on, and then we’ll all rev this together and give you an idea of how it works across the board. Good morning, Cathy!
Cathy: Good morning! I’m doing great, how are you?
Cathy: I would like to share that I loved how Robin talked about the rescuer and the coach, because it’s so easy for me to slip from one to the other. As far as Conflict REVOLUTION for me, when we first learned this years ago, the thing I learned that helped me the most was that I was talking about and thinking about my feelings versus feeling and breathing them through my body. And understanding the differences, a clear definition about Emotion, Intellect, and Intuition helped me to go forward and made my life much easier. Barbara spoke about leading by example. I had an experience yesterday that was so interesting. I have a conflict that I’ve named “Being Blocked from All Directions.” That’s where I had a Con Rev within a Con Rev. The other one is called “No Longer Being Here.” That’s about my daughter Lori and my son-in-law Craig.
Cathy: Yesterday morning I was working with my friend Tammy getting to a core issue that was preventing her from manifesting the money, the job, the home, the man. She felt like she was being blocked from all directions. We were going through the process of Conflict REVOLUTION, and she stopped and said, with much passion, “You’re blocking me also. Why do you do that? I’ve watched you receiving help from all your other friends, and yet you’ve blocked every offer I give you. I offered to cook a meal for you, do the dishes, help you during chemo, but you deny my help. Why do you do that?” That was a case where when you talk about how you can come into Conflict REVOLUTION at any level, I’m not even sure I had a conscious sound bite, but I went right into the feeling and the breathing.
Barbara: Because you were obviously triggered?
Cathy: Yes. “What is my truth? What can I tell her? What can I answer her?” I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I had the back story. I told myself that the reason for not letting her help me was that she hadn’t been through cancer or chemo and she was unable to understand and give me the support I needed. But right there, I went into feeling and breathing so I could get to my intuitive message.
Barbara: What was it?
Cathy: “Tell her the truth.” And at that moment, the truth came to me: “I don’t trust you.” To be able to tell her—because we had a past experience that was a misunderstanding. She thought I was sleeping with her boyfriend and sent terrible text messages demanding that I confess to her. She was so convinced that I was guilty that it got really ugly. We had become friends again, but I had kept her at arm’s length and refused to accept any help she was offering me because I was so angry that I didn’t trust her enough to let her all the way in. That was so empowering. And then talk about leading by example: in the middle of coaching her through her conflict, I had to stop and feel and breathe to help us go forward.
Barbara: Let’s leave that one right there and go to the one we worked on.
Cathy: Friday I had a call from my daughter. She was crying. She was afraid that her husband was dead. Her phone had died. She had to borrow a phone to call me. There was no way for her to go home. She had left for work that morning and couldn’t find him anywhere. He had been threatening, “You’ll miss me when I’m gone.” She had to go to work. She checked the house, the barn, couldn’t find him anywhere. She goes to work and she’s devastated all day long because she doesn’t know whether he’s alive or dead. That’s why I called that conflict “No Longer Being Here.”
Cathy: I dropped what I was doing and drove over and checked on him and found out that he was still there. He had hid from her that morning when she left for work to make her feel bad. He figured once he was dead, she would miss him when he was gone, and by hiding from her, it gave her a taste of that.
Cathy: I was so overwhelmed with how to deal with that the next day that I had to go back to Conflict 101 and call you, Barbara, and ask for some guidance through this because I was so frustrated myself I couldn’t get my sound bites. When we finally got to them, they were, “He was good at manipulating. He wasn’t helping the situation. And what if he wasn’t here any more?”
Cathy: Those are my sound bites.
Barbara: What was the Emotion? This is really intense.
Cathy: Completely overwhelmed, frustrated. This goes back to how I want to be the rescuer, so I go in and try to fix the situation. Overwhelmed and frustrated. It was so overwhelming I couldn’t think clearly.
Barbara: When we get overwhelmed, sometimes we have all the feelings super-sized.
Barbara: What intuitive message was in this conflict?
Cathy: I had to ask for help. That’s why I called and asked for guidance through this. Even though I automatically know this process and it comes to me so quickly and I go through it without even consciously knowing what I’m doing sometimes, this one blocked me so much that when I stopped to feel and breathe, the intuitive message was, “Ask for help.”
Barbara: It’s interesting, as an aside, how these two conflicts involve asking for help.
Cathy: (laughs) Yes!
Barbara: When Cathy and I talked in the morning, originally we were going to talk about the layout of the show, but then she came in this state and asked me to coach her. I shared with her the content I had already formulated talking about with Robin, and we thought it was a wonderful opportunity to show in real time that this really works. You were the guinea pig, in that place where emotions were intense and thoughts were out of control. You were having the conflict and we were breaking down the pieces at the same time. Oftentimes when somebody’s in a training session or a workshop, they’re not actively engaged. It’s not a triage moment. It’s an intellectual story. But you were in that moment. When we got to the place where we said, “Let’s imagine what the Intuition would have told you to do,” all we had to do was look back and identify what that was, and it was, “Ask for help.” And you asked for help. It’s beautiful how Conflict REVOLUTION becomes an operating system, and not only does your Intuition tell you to ask for help, but then your Intellect dials the phone to get the help. You don’t have to say, “I don’t need help.”
Cathy: And yes, thank you for helping me define this, because I’m still in the middle of processing all of that. It just happened this weekend. Just trying to explain it to someone, I appreciate your help in clarifying what we’re going through with this. And it works.
Barbara: And also—and I think Robin will address this as well—my conflict happened very quickly and was revolved and resolved quickly, and I quickly got to the miraculous place that I’ll share in a minute. But more often than not, it takes time to do this. In talking about, say, Mr. Downer, Robin, now that you’ve had the revolution back to yourself, I think we need to share what the process is that we now do. There are two components to it. One is to deal with Emotion in a new way: to breathe it, not to analyze it. The other is to change the thought to which the Emotion is marrying itself to create your reality and then change the thinking process. These are two big things. These aren’t easy to do. Tell us about processing Mr. Downer.
Robin: It went off into two branches. That’s why I wanted to share that conflict. It will help people to see that sometimes we have to work things in multiple ways. With him, I had to take action steps to get that relationship to a healthy place. That required setting up boundaries and seeing that my kindness is helpful for people, but that there’s a shadow side to kindness, too. We let ourselves be taken advantage of, we feel that we have to take responsibility for someone else’s happiness.
Robin: For him, I needed to set up healthy boundaries and take myself out of that responsibility because I needed my energy to solve the technical issues of what was going on. It wasn’t my responsibility to prop him up. But then I had to step back into the Witness and work with the deeper sound bites, which were the pessimism and hopelessness. At first I couldn’t see it in my life. There are so many areas in my life where I’m very optimistic. I had to step back further into the Witness and ask the greater part of me, “Show me where I’m pessimistic.” I think oftentimes when we’re not seeing it we can ask that greater part of ourselves to show us, and then step further into the Witness and watch what comes up and look for deeper intuitive messages.
Robin: Over time, I found that it was in the intimate relationship part of my life. Not my work life, not my life as a mother, a coach, an athlete. All of those things I’m very hopeful and optimistic in. But when I think about going out on a date or feeling that I was somehow going to be successful in a romantic relationship in my life, I wasn’t hopeful. I was pessimistic. That’s where my work was.
Barbara: That’s a great illustration of why conflicts are so hard to address. When you see something like this, you realize that his trigger of you into this place was your energy calling you to look way over here at a place that had nothing to do with him. How long do you think this went on?
Robin: I talked with you about it several times during this period, and I’m a year in right now. It was right at this time last year when I realized I need to set boundaries. It took some time to work with the Emotion, to realize where the pessimism was, and to come up with an action plan. I’m just now starting to make some headway in both a new relationship with my coworker—because I still have to work with him—and a new relationship with my own optimism and hopefulness in the romantic relationship area of my life. It takes time and patience and being committed to self-love and self-compassion. That’s crucial for this work.
Barbara: You brought up this question, and then Cathy brought it up, and as you were talking I was thinking about some conflicts I have about when we want to be nice. I had a year-long conflict called “The Kitchen Dishes.” My roommate was leaving dishes in the sink. You would have thought I could just say, “Hey, can you clean up your dishes?” But I couldn’t. I was being hammered in my brain about how small I was that I wouldn’t just wipe off this bowl for her, thinking I wasn’t being nice enough, I was so selfish. While you were trying to set those boundaries, were you struggling with some of those kinds of voices?
Robin: Definitely! Having to do things I wouldn’t normally do, such as let his calls go to voicemail so that I could listen to the message and stay focused on doing a good job with just the technical part. My job isn’t to prop him up emotionally, it’s to work the issues. I didn’t have to spend 20 extra minutes on the phone working through his emotion and then be so drained that I couldn’t do my job well.
Barbara: Getting back to the moments where we’re feeling Emotion, we have the Intuition. “I’m going to set some boundaries.” You let it roll to voicemail, where you were making a decision to set a boundary, to do things differently, but there’s anxiety, shame, and thoughts about how you’re not a nice person.
Barbara: This is why it can take a year or more sometimes, and this is one reason why I was inspired to do this show, because Maxinne came back after her first night of feeling and breathing and noticing these terrible thoughts, and she said, “I was feeling and breathing all night and nothing changed.”
Robin: And then she gets into a cycle of being hard on herself.
Barbara: Yes. This is our pattern. But with her, I said that there might not be a change in that moment, but what’s different is, you’re observing yourself now. That’s the first step. When you observe and experiment, it changes. The very fact that she’s observing it is a beginning step.
Robin: Yes. We have to honor the process, not the results, praise ourselves for the process. Like you’ve said many times, we are building a new operating system. It’ll take time. We’re reworking our brains, our thinking process. To learn to stop, to feel, to breathe, to step into the Witness, to honor the small steps is so crucial.
There’s another thing you’ve always said that was very helpful, too: using the question “Is this regenerative or degenerative?” When you get a moment of, “Oh, I’m not kind enough. This feels awkward,” when we’re growing, it will feel awkward, because we’re doing something different, so we’ll feel a little bit awkward. Ask yourself, “Is this a regenerative or a degenerative step?” If it’s regenerative, it’s probably good for the whole.
Barbara: Yes. In this instance, the phone rings and you see it’s your coworker, you let it go to voicemail, which is making a decision for the good of all, but you’re still feeling bad, thinking bad thoughts, but you’ve made that decision.
Robin: Good point. That happens in the free will. “This feels awkward because you pride yourself on doing a good job and not letting people down.” But you’re only stopping the degenerative part. I was still planning to hear the voicemail and respond to what was needed, but I didn’t have to put myself on the phone for 20 minutes in a degenerative state.
Barbara: Right. And in the case of my “Kitchen Dishes” conflict, after a year of it, I was embarrassed to talk about it to anybody who knows Conflict REVOLUTION. When I finally got the aha moment and the miracle, I was talking to my sister about it, and she reminded me that when I was little, my mother used to work long hours, and I would clean up the whole kitchen. She would come home after a 12-hour workday and find the one thing I didn’t do and yell at me.
Barbara: And when I got that, I was able to go back to my roommate and start the conversation, “Hey, would you mind if we—?” She got a little defensive, and suddenly I’m weeping and we are having the best conversation! She said, “Don’t ever, ever, ever not tell me these things.” So we built trust, and it was all divine timing. Since then our relationship has deepened so much that I don’t want her to go. I used to be like, “I’m glad I have a roommate, I love her, but I wish I lived alone.” Now I think, “No! Don’t leave me!” (laughs)
Barbara: Cathy, tell me what happened after we talked and you had the thing happen with Tammy. What about the conflict with your son-in-law?
Cathy: Let me close up the conflict we were working called “Being Blocked in All Directions.” My question was, “What is my truth?” So “What is my truth with Tammy?” follows into “What is my truth with my family?” Not only did my being asked to tell her the truth—that I didn’t trust her and why I didn’t—help open up the tensions and the blocks in my relationship with Tammy, but it helped her. We did more Con Rev on her story, and she had a breakthrough to realize that in the incident where she felt like I and everybody else were blocking her, this is a core issue. She’s feeling people blocking her from all directions from her abundance. Maybe that will be the change and she’ll open up those blocks and start healing on a new level so she can get her abundance on all levels.
Cathy: Going back to “What is my truth?,” when I come back to the story with Craig and Lori, maybe Craig was threatening to commit suicide, and instead of my being so angry and frustrated with this “evil” man, what if he’s the person who is showing Lori that she can be a different way so she no longer wants to commit suicide but wants to figure out how to get through her life without so much conflict? The fact that he is threatening and she is saying, “No, don’t do this,” that’s their conflict. So I’m thinking all along that this is their problem, when my truth is, my biggest fear and my deepest core issue is my fear of dying, of no longer being there.
Cathy: Going through that, I feel like I’m able to look at my issues of dying. My first husband was threatening to kill me, and now chemo is threatening to kill me, cancer is threatening to kill me, so how do I get what I want in life? I’m realizing that maybe I don’t need cancer any more to get what I want out of life. I’m still processing all of this.
Barbara: Yeah, wow!
Cathy: You can see how this all ties together! All this weekend I was like, “Whoa!” (laughs)
Barbara: A back story is that you’ve been dealing with Lori, who is suicidal, and she’s just recently decided that she wants to live and she’s been struggling to establish a life for herself and making better decisions. Craig is basically committing a slow suicide in front of everyone.
Cathy: Thank you for articulating that!
Barbara: And you and I talked about how Craig is Lori’s—as Carlos Castaneda used to call it—“petty tyrant.” He is the impetus who is pushing her, giving her the platform to rise above that behavior in herself. He’s playing an important role for her right now, even though they may not end up married. He might kill himself. He might not. You’re seeing Lori changing her life, obviously influenced by being raised watching her father trying to kill her mother and do harm to her. She’s breaking that pattern, and now it’s coming back to you, when you’re on chemo for cancer. We’ve done some work since you were diagnosed and chose to get chemo. That was breathtaking, because I know you want to live. But it seemed like when we revolved—and now we’ll get to the last revolution of the sound bites—“What if he’s not here any more? What if you’re not here any more? I want to be here.”
Barbara: “I want to live.”
Cathy: Like I said, I was thinking it was all their problem. I didn’t realize what core issue of my own I was bringing to the surface.
Cathy: Very powerful!
Barbara: Yes! Going back to my quick conflict, “I’m miscommunicating. I’m making assumptions.” When I asked myself what assumptions I was making and where I was not communicating well, oh, my gosh! First of all, I assumed that Maxinne and Judy canceled the appointment. I didn’t communicate well on why Judy couldn’t have come at 5:00. When I said to the universe, “Show me now as I move forward where I make assumptions,” I saw that I make assumptions all day long!
At that moment, every time I started to make an assumption about Maxinne or Judy, I stopped and said, “Wait a minute. Show me what the answer to this question is. Why did we have to do it in person? I assumed that Judy was curious and wanted to take advantage of—no! Why?” And then I realized that she had never seen a channel. A lifelong goal of hers was to be in the presence of someone who channels. She’s heard about them. She’s read them. Maxinne has told her, and now here’s a woman she trusts, because Maxinne is one of her best friends, and it’s really important for her to get there at 4:00 to be in the same space because this may not come again.
Barbara: When I realized that, without making an assumption about why she wanted it to be in-person, it came to me. Oh, so even though I thought it was best for the whole if they took the money, that extra money she would have made wasn’t nearly as important as getting to that appointment to be in the presence of a channel. This was like a treasure hunt. There was no shame involved, no degenerative voice in my head saying, “What’s wrong with you? You always make assumptions!” There was no icky feeling. There was the joy of discovery. And by the next day, Maxinne, too, was observing and making different decisions and thinking different thoughts and feeling and breathing, and we were able to put together all of our assumptions, and we got the big picture. We said, “Look at this! We never would have been able to do this without Conflict REVOLUTION!”
Barbara: And then it continued when I went to New Orleans and my friend never called me back. I could use this, not make assumptions, not respond, and the long and short of it was, I had her phone blocked and I didn’t even know it! I could have done a big thing about her failings, but I didn’t. I had a great time, even though she wasn’t there.
Barbara: Let’s go to Robin. When you found those places in your love life where you were pessimistic and hopeless, where did that take you?
Robin: That’s the beauty of Conflict REVOLUTION: you often end up solving something that’s very deep and meaningful. That’s why the Emotion is so strong. In my case, I had to look at how I build up hopefulness in my life and realize that this is something I truly valued and wanted in my life and had not been successful in. That was sad. That was creating a sense of hopelessness. Pessimistic thinking is often aligned with feeling personally flawed. In my case I was feeling unworthy and unlovable. It sent me back to doing some inner child healing work for being hopeful. I then worked towards setting some goals, like we talked about in January, setting goals and pathways that were achievable for me and that worked for me. I’m still working on these things, but I’m much more hopeful and optimistic now because I could see the problem clearly, which I might not have been able to do without the Conflict REVOLUTION process.
Barbara: Without Mr. Downer?
Robin: Yeah, without Mr. Downer!
Barbara: Bless him!
Robin: And that’s where we have to ask how we can be grateful. I just want to say, Cathy, you’re so brave to come on the show and talk about these vulnerable things that you’re right in the middle of.
Cathy: Thank you.
Robin: I want to acknowledge that, because I have been working on this conflict that I’m sharing for a year. I’m excited for you and the beautiful things that will unfold. I’m busy with the work now, coming back to going into the Witness. How is this going? Am I feeling and breathing and paying attention to those thoughts? Not letting myself tell myself I’m flawed and unworthy and unlovable?
Cathy: Thank you, Robin. For me, the process of Con Rev is amazingly powerful. When we go forward creating our lives, my main goal is to consistently ask to be aware. I want to be aware of when I’m not telling the truth to other people and especially to myself. I want to be aware when I’m feeling fear and sorry for myself and afraid of not being here any more, to be able to step back and be the Witness, the observer who can see when I’m cheating myself out of a lovely life because of all my bullshit.
Barbara: What was interesting about our work yesterday was when you said, “This cancer has caused me to ask for more help, and I’m finding out how loved I am.”
Cathy: It’s so huge. I don’t have to create cancer to know that people love me and care about me. I have been given so many gifts, from emotional support to money to gifts to food to people helping me, driving me to my appointments. I lost my 12-year-old granddaughter to cancer last year. I went through depression that I didn’t realize I was going through, feeling like I didn’t have any purpose in life any more, not realizing why, not realizing I was in depression. I was pulling myself away from the world and not doing anything or going anywhere. Creating the cancer has opened me up to realizing, “Wow, I don’t need to have an illness to go forward with my goals.”
Barbara: And when you were describing all the things you were gaining from having the cancer, my response was, “I have all those things, and I don’t have cancer. I feel so loved.”
Cathy: I know!
Barbara: That was sort of an Aha! for both of us.
Cathy: Yes, yes! We all want to be loved and accepted and adored and cradled and happy! (laughs)
Barbara: Have you created any kind of action plan from our work going forward about wanting to live?
Cathy: The basic one is that sometimes I need to breathe and remember to step back into my Witness and observe what I’m doing. As I go forward, I choose to be more aware of when I am not doing the things that I want to do, like telling the truth and being honest with myself and allowing myself to go out and create the love and all the joy that I’m getting without being sick. Those are my steps going forward.
Barbara: In our matrix, the action plan, the last step of the sound bites we’re writing down, has those intellectual sound bites defining what we need to do in order to address the original issue. For me, with “Assumptions and Miscommunications,” my action plan is based on my Intuition, which said, “Look at yourself.” My plan going forward is that I’m going to watch where I make assumptions and where I don’t communicate quite as well as I could. As I told you, this is going down in the history of revs, because there are so many things in that one week where I didn’t make assumptions, where I made sure to take that extra step in communication and step back and think, “Have I told everybody everything? Do I need to tell anybody anything else?” And when I find places where I’m not communicating or I make an assumption, there’s no shame. There’s no mentally berating myself. It’s like, “Oh, look, it’s me making assumptions again.”
Cathy: The beauty of you and Robin and me all sharing with each other is that I look at yours and Robin’s sound bites and goals for going forward, and I see how I can now apply those to me. It applies to all of us.
Barbara: Yes. When I do this in a workshop, everyone has a Post-It note on the wall and I write all the emotions at the bottom in red and go all around the room, and when we’re done, you see that it doesn’t matter how different the story line is. My story line from Robin’s story line and especially from your story line and T.’s story line, it’s the same conflicts. It’s the universal emotions that do not get embraced and loved and moving through the flow: anger, depression, sadness, frustration—all the bad stuff is trapped in us, and it becomes cancer. It becomes excessive weight, depression, externally it is separations within families, conflicts within the community, worldwide conflict.
Barbara: We are working at the root level. Listening to both of your conflicts, I’m finding great fodder for my own continued revolutions. Robin?
Robin: Agreed. We all make assumptions. That’s a good one, too! (laughs)
Barbara: It’s so elemental. I’m so grateful to M. We’re coming to the end, but I wanted to ask you: boiling it down into a basic presentation, what do you think is the best way to help people untrain themselves to reject the bad emotions?
Robin: For me, I remind myself that when I’m triggered with Emotion, the first thing I tell myself is, “Don’t have a knee-jerk reaction.” When I get triggered I say, “Oh, there’s work to do.” It creates a new instant response to whatever emotion is happening. I’ve even trained myself to do that with intense joy, because intense joy, the people who run off in Las Vegas have equally had a knee-jerk reaction to extreme joy that may not be good for the whole. With any emotion that’s coming through us, we can stop and say, “I have work to do.” That’s where I begin, and then I remember the process. “Feel and breathe.” I follow the training, the process.
Barbara: Particularly because, having known you this long, it’s been challenging for you to access deep emotion.
Cathy: (laughs) Yes! You asked how we would encourage others. At one time when most of us would take a bad emotion when we were feeling it and tell people, “Don’t feel that way,” when you see someone crying and expressing an uncomfortable emotion. I’m able now to allow them and myself, because I didn’t used to be good at crying at all, to feel those “bad” emotions, because all emotions can lead us some place else. We encourage each other to feel the good and the bad emotions and move them through and then take that—like, if I’m feeling sad, I can’t feel like being happy immediately, but I can take the next step up to whatever emotion makes me feel a little bit better and then a little bit better. Every time I process the ConRev I need to breathe. I breathe to get into my Witness. I breathe to find my truth. I breathe to find my sound bite. Just remembering to feel and breathe has been so powerful to me.
Barbara: Me, too. I want to add an ending to my own conflict. Shortly after or during this time, I had a conflict with my sister—and I was Maxinne! I wrote an email to my sister that sounded just like hers. I sent it off and immediately started to feel and breathe, and I’m so grateful for bringing Conflict REVOLUTION to my family. The sister who triggered me was the one from “The Headache Project.” Long story short, my other sister was involved as well, and she said, “This is not a conversation for email.” So I called her, and she was wonderful. She was triggered, too, but she returned Conflict REVOLUTION to me. She knew how to do it. And pretty soon I was crying, she was crying. She also had something that was coming up. So I waited for a few days and I kept getting Intuition nudging me, “Call the other one.”
Barbara: I was a little less excited, because she traditionally would read me the riot act. But she was also wonderful, so loving and calm. She explained everything. We had a wonderful talk, and we’ll get together when I get home. So you can even act not for the good of the whole and it can come out for the good of the whole.
Barbara: Is there anything else either of you wants to add before we close this and let people go off and think about this and digest it?
Cathy: Thank you, Robin and Barb. When we went through what happened this weekend and I had to ask you for help and you asked me if I would be willing to share in the Sunday morning conference these personal things about me and my family, my first reaction was, “Eeek!” And then I realized that my truth needs to be told, because then I can show by example that not only do people who have been doing ConRev for years and doing it well get stuck and need to ask for help, but also, when you hear my story, you can relate to it and say, “If she can do this, I can fix the issue I have with my boss at work.” I’m so grateful to both of you. I love you both. Thank you for letting me be a part of this—even though I was a little bit scared to do it!
Barbara: The powerful thing about you sharing your story is that I have always believed that Conflict REVOLUTION can heal physical illnesses, it can prevent physical illnesses by not allowing a build-up, an abscess of emotion to get stuck in our bodies. You have shown that this isn’t a replacement for chemo or any kind of physical therapy anybody might be doing with cancer, but I believe it can augment the healing process. I’m looking forward to having you get your clean bill of health.
Cathy: Amen! (laughs)
Robin: In closing, I think we’ve shown by all these examples a good reason why this work is important and why it’s worth it. Maybe listeners are thinking, “This is a lot of effort. I don’t know if I can do it.” But what inspires us is the health, the well-being that come out of it, stronger relationships, the ability to achieve the things that you value in life. In my case, I realized that I value having a partnership and I want to do whatever it takes to get that. My conflict with Mr. Downer is the one that helped me to see that mirror and say, “Wait a minute. I’m draining my own energy by telling myself I’m unworthy and unlovable and I’ll never have a partner or be able to achieve what I want in life.” I didn’t see the pathway, I couldn’t find the next step I needed to take.
Robin: I’m taking a lot of steps, declaring that this is something I value, setting that intention daily, seeing the optimistic side. What am I grateful for? What is working right? What will work for me? How do I combat the thoughts that are telling me that I’m unworthy and unlovable? How do I step into the Witness and catch myself every time I start to beat myself up? Pushing back, wrestling with those thoughts to create more hopefulness. I’m much more hopeful a year into it. I haven’t achieved my goal yet, but I’m very hopeful that I will.
Barbara: And Lily Phelps, on her show we were talking about if Jesus would forgive Hitler, and the answer was, “Of course.” He couldn’t not forgive him, because then he wouldn’t be Jesus. You can’t not achieve that goal, because if we’re going to have a vision and intention and work towards that, then it has to have come true in the future.
Robin: I love that.
Barbara: So we can find hopefulness in that, too. I want to close by telling the people who have listened to this who want to do this work that you can always contact me at Partyof12.com, BarbWith@gmail. I have a number of learning tools. My new book, Einstein et al.: Manifestation, Conflict REVOLUTION, and the New Operating System, is the complete guide. It’s the unified field theory, the maps of human consciousness, and the complete curriculum that will walk you through it. I do some one-on-one coaching. I occasionally have online classes. Come to my website and sign up. There’s a lot of free stuff there as well to download. With this basic information, I think you can start experimenting with yourself and gain control of your own domain. I think I speak for Cathy and Robin and everyone who has been practicing and experiencing the results of Conflict REVOLUTION when I say that then you only will need to watch and be amazed.
Thank you! Until next time! Have a wonderful month! At the end of April we will have Leslie Stewart on talking about joy.
Over the past month, I’ve had the honor of teaching Conflict REVOLUTION® to two very motivated peacemakers. These two sessions, independent of each other, had similar features: both dealt with uncontrollable rage and degenerative, abusive voices of culture playing in their brains.
As is always true of training Con Rev, I can count on a conflict of my own rearing up when I teach. So I was looking forward to seeing how this would be manifesting around these two sessions.
This time, the conflict that made manifest and the final results shocked even me (in an absolutely wonderful way). I am so inspired by these students and so excited to share these stories, I decided to offer Conflict REVOLUTION 101 for the next 2017 Re-Boot.
Even though this Re-Boot is aimed at those who are new to the process, for us vets who have heard it ad infinitum, it will gently remind us of the power in being the “perpetual beginner.” We will also be sharing our own success stories that are sure to inspire you to take the plunge into your own operating system.
Join me and my two certified Con Rev ® coaches, Cathy Kline and Robin Cordova. Together we will take you one step at a time through a process so simple you won’t need anything but your open mind and willingness to observer yourself. At the same time, so deep that what you change will affect the entire operating system. Once the OS is upgraded, your life becomes much more aligned to compassion, joy, and commitment to doing what is best for the good of all, starting with taking care of yourself.
Once you start seeing where your power truly lies and take control of what is yours to be in charge of, you reboot your entire operating system to automatically make decisions for the good of the whole.
Conflicts will never go away. But we can train ourselves to deal with them in new, revolutionary ways that truly provide for the good of the whole. This alignment to Compassion is evolution, taking one small step for humans and one giant step for humankind.
Join us Sunday morning, or download the files afterward. Either way, thank you for being willing to become the change!